Space
by Kerink
Summary: An RPstory between me, Techno Doofus, and PunkPenguin. ZAPR and ZADR and RADR.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is an RP, between me and my friends. I'm Purple and Dib; Techno Doofus is Zim and the Guards; and Punk-Penguin is Gaz and Gir.

We don't own Zim. Sad ain't it.

Rated for sexual stuff in later chapters and possible language, I know I'm gonna throw some in.

- - - -

Space (n) The region of this expanse beyond Earth's atmosphere; the expanse in which the solar system, stars, and galaxies exist; the universe; the infinite extension of the three-dimensional region in which all matter exists; the current location of the Irken Armada…

The Massive floated across the wide expansion of space, with small Voot and Spiddle Runners hovering and zooming around it. Purple sat in his room reading a book; he sighed and closed it,

"Where on Irk is Red with my tea?" suddenly the door burst open and a very distressed soldier came running in.

"My Tallest" the soldier saluted, "Tallest Red has gone missing; apparently he has been stolen by the Resisty."

"Don't you people ever kn-WHAT!" Purple said jumping out of bed, "What do you mean "stolen" I-I thought this place was safe!" The soldier flinched in fear

"I-its urgent that for your safety you must hide out until we can bring back Tallest Red"

"H-hide out? Where!"

"We still don't know how they managed to get in, my Tallest, but it is of the essence that you leave the massive immediately"

"But where! The Resisty knows all the planets!" Purple said, tears now running down his face.

"Somewhere that isn't taken over by the empire yet, it would be too obvious." Purple sniffed...or did the Irken equivalent, "B-but that'd mean..."

"My Tallest?" the soldier asked worried about what was bothering him.

"Th-there's only one planet not taken over by the Empire. I-I don't think I can..." he shuddered, "Will Zim take good care of me! Will someone else, a guard or something, be coming with me!"

"We're sorry my Tallest but all the guards and soldiers are either to remain on the Massive or are to be stationed on Irk to wait for the demands of the Resisty" Purple gave a choked sob,

"S-so I'll be on the horrid planet a-all by myself!"

"No my Tallest i believe an invader is stationed on that planet. We have already contacted him; you are to leave to his base in 24 hrs"

"Zim? Oh he doesn't count! He's insane! For all you know he'll kill me!" Purple clasped his claw-like hands around his throat, "Please! Can't someone come with me!"

"My Tallest he seemed very honored as he had mentioned more than once"

Purple wiped a tear from his eye,

"Oh course he does! He should be!" Purple 'humped' like the spoiled brat he was, "He better take good care of me!"

"He will he has promised us. And you will not be completely alone we will be checking on you every now and then"

"Good! We'll then; you better get someone in here to pack my things." Purple said putting on his robe, "And I guess I'll just get my own tea."

"Yes sir" the Irken saluted then left the room.

- - - -

Dib was walking down the sidewalk, his sister playing her Game Slave next to him,

"There's Zim." he hissed as he saw the alien walking his strange green dog.

"Why are you so obsessed with him?"

"Because Gaz! He's trying to destroy all man-kind!"

"Whatever..." Dib locked eyes on Zim, and stuck his nose up at him as they stopped in front of each other,

"Zim." he said flatly as Gir took out a muffin and ate it.

"Dib-human" Zim muttered.

"You guys are stupid" Gaz muttered under her breath.

"Dib-Stink get out of the great ZIM'S way before I sick my robot on you!"

"Yeah right Zim! That piece of garbage can't do anything but eat and make noise!" Zim growled,

"GIR HUG THE HUMAN UNTIL HE CAN NOT BREATHE ANYMORE!" The squeaky robot attack Gaz's leg with hugs,

"I luuuuuv joooo!"

"NO GIR! THE DIB NOT HER!"

"Get off me!" Gaz grunted.

"Pfft," Dib said rolling his eyes, "told you." Zim walked up to the human and back-handed him across the face,

"I suggest you stay out of my way or I - THE GREAT ZIM - will inflict pain on you and oh SUCH PAIN IT WILL BE!"

"Ow!" Dib said reeling back, "Zim! What was that for!" He said holding his cheek.

"For being a pig-smelly" Zim then held his head up high smugly and walked away.

"I HOPE YOUR HAND GETS INFECTED!" Dib said, playing off Zim's germ-phobia.

"Someone gonna get this dog of me?" Gaz hissed

"GIR!" Zim called. The robot ran happily after his master,

"Can we get tacos!" Zim smirked at the humans attempt to scare him.

"Don't worry Dib i would worry more about you getting infected"

"C'mon Gaz," Dib said walking the rest of the way home, holding his face.

"Pfft…" Gaz muttered as she followed her brother home.

Zim walked the rest of the way home in silence, aside from the squeak of Gir's dog costume pondering the arrival of his Tallest Purple.

"Mastah!" Gir said, cutely looking up at the green-skinned boy, "When's Momma Purple gonna get here!" Zim smiled slightly at the nickname Gir had dubbed Tallest Purple,

"Soon, Gir, very soon."

"So... about those tacos..." Zim then had a brilliant idea,

"Gir I need you to get out of the house for a while as to not disturb Tallest Purple" Zim pulled out money from his pocket.

"TACOS?"

"Here Gir go get your...tacos and stay away from the base for a long time."

"TACOS!" Gir said running off excitedly. Zim sighed in relief. As the Irken entered the house, a Voot Runner landed none too gracefully in his front yard. Zim jumped in surprise we looked behind him and just stood there. Purple groaned as he leaned out of the windshield holding his head.

"MY TALLEST!" Zim rushed over to make sure Purple was ok.

"Ugh...am I here! Where I am? Zim! Oh, you scarred me! Well don't just stand there, help me out!"

"Sorry" Zim ran and helped Purple gently get out of the Voot Runner. Once he was on the ground he went to get his luggage. Purple stood brushing off his dress robes as Zim got his things. He stuck out his tongue,

"Please tell me your house is bigger than it looks. Oh!" he said as Zim's antenna brushed his shoulder, "Oh my, Zim! You've gotten so much taller, how long've you been here, again?"

"No worries my Tallest the size of the base is just a brilliant disguise to fool the humans. I've been on earth for 5 years, sir." Zim answered

"Oh," he cleared his throat, "Well then, um, good job. Alrighty then, show me to my room." Zim lead the Tallest into the living room and opened the fridge which he had installed to be a door to a large suite to accommodate the Tallest

Dib stood watching the two aliens on Zim's lawn threw his telescope, "Gaz! GAZ! One of Zim's leaders is here! I-it's amazing! His ship's MUCH bigger than both mine AND Zim's!"

"Stop interrupting me I'm still playing my game Dib!"

"Wow," Dib said to himself, "Hm? Zim isn't that much shorter than his leader is..." Dib hopped down the stairs two at a time, "Hey Gaz, you wanna go with me to spy on Zim's leader? Hm! Well Gaz," Dib said, resting his arms on the back of the couch, hovering over his sibling, "C'mon, Dad said we need to spend more time together!"

"So...what you want me to do is hang out with you while you stalk Zim all day?" Gaz looked up from her game.

"Um...when you put it that way, it sounds pretty..." Dib shook his head, "You wanna come or what!"

"I guess, but keep that dog of me this time, and tomorrow you have to take me to Bloatie's" Dib smiled and walked to the door, opening it for his sibling. He really was trying his hardest to become better friends with her.

Zim lead Purple into the suite which was HUGE it was decorated in different shades of violet.  
"Hmmm," Purple said looking around, "Yes, I do think this'll suet my needs nicely." He turned to Zim, smiling, then nodded, "That should be all. How 'bout getting dinner started though, I'm starving!"

"Yes my Tallest" Zim saluted and ran of to the kitchen to make an assortment of different snacks for dinner. Purple smiled and began unpacking,

"Um..." he said staring at his bags, "ZIM!" he yelled. Zim hurried into the room

"Yes Tallest Purple"

"I-I don't know how to open these things..." he said pointing to his bags, pouting like a little kid.

"Oh...heh, they're quite simple all you have to do is push the latch and the lid pulls up" Zim said demonstrating.

"Really!" Purple said like it was the most amazing thing in the world, "Wow! Well, thank you!"

"Think nothing of it my Tallest" Zim then headed outside to the kitchen to finish dinner.

Dib walked down the sidewalk, Gaz next to him, "There's Zim's house, Gaz! Hmm, why's that ship still out there! C'mon, let's go look at it!" Gaz followed Dib to the ship.

"Wow...isn't this amazing, Gaz!" Dib stroked the slightly warm metal in awe.

"There really are more of them?" up until now she hadn't believe him.

"Of course there are!" He said turning to his younger sibling, "Remember Tak!"

"Oh, right but they have leaders? And there here?" she said pausing her game.

"Well, I only saw one of them. I know Irk has two Tallests. I wonder where the other one is." He turned his attention back to the ship.

"HUMAN!" Zim yelled at the two, "Get away from that ship!" the robot gnomes turned on the two Membrane children.

"Run Gaz!" Dib yelled running out of the yard as they began to fire, his sister behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Purple walked out of the fridge door, sniffing the air with his non-existent nose,  
"Mmm, smells good!" he said cheerily.

"Thank you my Tallest!" Zim said, "It's a special doughnut casserole" Purple took a seat at the table, placing a napkin on his lap,

"Is it almost done? I'm starved!"

"Yes, I'm just waiting for it to cool down." Zim placed the delicious smelling casserole in the center of the table. Purple licked his lip-less mouth and began to poke it with his fork,

"Mmm, it looks sooo good!" Zim then proceeded to cut a big piece of the casserole and put it on a plate and set it in front of Purple.

"There you are my Tallest" Zim smiled happily at his handy-work. Purple immediately began to attack it with his fork,

"Mmm, Zim I…munch…didn't know you were such a good…munch…chef!"

"I learned from the time spent on Foodcourtia when I wasn't cleaning toilets." Zim said quietly shuddering at his horrible experience. Suddenly, Gir came running into the house with a crazy taco hat on and taco grease all over his face and hands.

"Master I ate tacos and then I ran out of monies and they kicked me out... I love the little tacos!" Zim immediately clutched his non-existent nose in disgust,

"You smell like HORRID human grease! Go clean yourself!" Zim said his hands still over his non-existent nose. Purple giggled at the moronic robot as it went to wash up,

"I forgot how stu- eh, advanced Gir was!"

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Gir ran off to the bathroom squeaking his rubber moosey.

"Not to offend my Tallest, but I think Gir might be somewhat...eh- bad" Zim said hoping not to get his Tallest mad. Purple chewed another bite of food before answering, "He, does seems kind of…eh, not good. Doesn't he?"

"Eh" Zim shrugged, "The little robot can be a good companion...once in a while" Purple smiled,

"I-I'm glad."

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEE" Gir ran in covered in bubbles and started running around the table. Purple looked at the odd clear orbs in confusion, raising a non-existent eyebrow.

"GIR NO!" Zim shrieked "YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!" Zim started trying to get Gir off the table.

"I'm dancing like a monkey" Gir did a lil' jig for the Tallest. Purple giggled,

"Aw! You're so cute!" he said, picking Gir up, but then immediately scram and dropped him, his hand smoking. Zim gaped in shock. Gir looked around on confusion and then followed Zim.

"What the Blortch!" Purple yelled, tears welting in his violet eyes.

"Here my Tallest" Zim said, snapping out of his stupor. Zim got some ointment out of his PAK and put it on Purple's burning hands.

"Agh! It burns! Why does it hurt Zim! What is that stuff! Some kind of Earth poison!"

"The water in this planet is so contaminated with filth that it causes Irken skin to burn." Zim explained quickly, still applying the ointment, "It is not poisons though." Gir wondered off in the background looking for something.

"What's this stuff made of!"

"Hydrogen and Oxygen." Zim replied.

"Hi-dro-gin? Never heard of it? Is it some Earthly substance?" Gir ran back into the room holding a pig,

"I brought you pig he's my friend!"

"Yes, humans use it for…something, I dunno." Purple smiled taking the piggy and sat back down,

"Thank you Gir, but could you please go take that stuff off?" Gir grabbed a towel off the rack and started to dry off.

"I'm sorry my Tallest…" Zim looked apologetic. Purple returned to his food then looked up at Zim, who was still watching him worriedly,

"It's alright, but aren't you going to have any?"

"Hmm?"

"Some food, aren't you going to have any?"

"I'll eat later."

"You sure? It's really good?"

"Thank you my Tallest but I assure you I am quite full."

"Do you want more my Tallest?"

"No thank you. I'm full already."

"Are you tired?" Zim asked. Purple wiped off his mouth and stood up,

"No, I'd actually like to take a look at the 'neighborhood' I'll be staying at."

"Yes my Tallest, but first we have to get a disguise for you to blend in with the human pig-smellys!"

"Okay, how do we do that?"

"Were going outside!" Gir went and grabbed his doggie disguise.

"COMPUTER!" Zim called out. The houses computer sighed,

"...yes?" he said boredly.

"I need you to come up with an ingenious disguise for Tallest Purple!" Zim said with a touch of annoyance in his voice. There was a white light and Tallest Purple stood in his new disguise. He had blonde hair with purple highlights, a puple short sleeve shirt and black pants and shoes.

"There happy now?" the computer asked Zim sarcastically. Purple spun around to get a good look at him self then smiled,

"Oh I like this look allot!" Zim smiled and put his disguise on. He had black hair up to where his ears should be with red highlights. A red and black stripped t-shirt, black pants and a trench coat ripped at the end.

"Glad you think so my Tallest. We should be going now; this planet is at a time where it becomes dark very quickly." Zim looked at his digital watch. It read 4:02. Gir walked over to them in his doggie suit.

"We have about two hours." Zim pulled out a short leash from his PAK and attached it to Gir's collar. Purple smiled and opened the door, walking out and looking up at the sky,

"Oh, the sky's blue! How come it's not aqua like on Irk?" Zim shrugged. Purple looked around and say the crescent moon, "How come they only have one moon here?" Zim sighed,

"I don't know my Tallest" Zim didn't like not knowing things. It made him feel weak and for some reason Zim felt like impressing his Tallest more than usual. Purple skipped happily into the street and began poking Zim's car, which was really just the Voot Cruiser in disguise.

"How come this Voot Runner has wheels?"

"It's in disguise. The humans are still too stupid to create anything that even remotely hovers or flies and if they have it is not even up to the standards of Irken equipment" Zim said in disgust.

"Oh! I see." he glanced at the tree in the next yard and ran over to it, "Hey Zim, what's this thing? We don't have these on Irk!"

"Vegetation, the humans practically would die without it." Zim replied. Purple hugged it,

"Hello Vegetation! I remember learning about things like you in the academy from along time ago before we needed PAKs; it's nice to finally meet you." Zim blinked staring at his Tallest acting like a 'tree-hugger' as the humans call it.

"You seem very nice Vegetation; I hope I'll meet more of you!"

"Um...my Tallest vegetation does not speak." Zim sighed, "No need to worry about it though." Zim muttered under his breathe. Purple blinked,

"Is that why it won't say hello to me?" Zim felt his left eye twitch. _'Maybe the bacterium on this planet has found its way to my Tallest's brain meats!'_ Zim thought to himself.

"Trees are my friends!" Gir said excitedly

"Well, good bye anyways Vegetation!" Purple walked back over to Zim, smiling brightly. _'Or Gir's stupidness was contagious.'_ Zim concluded.

"Well, what next, I've learned about the sky, the moon, these Voot-wheel things, and vegetation!"

"Well my Tallest there is the inhabitants of this dirt-ball, but i don't think you'd want to see them they're quite stupid"

"ICE CREAM!"

"Ice cream? What is that?" Purple cocked his head to the side.

"It is a type of snack."

"You need ice cream!" Gir continued.

"It is quite good actually. There is an ice scream place not to far off. It's only a block away."

"I would like some please!"

"Ice cream!" Gir tried to run but he was stopped by the short leash. Purple took Zim's hand,

"I hope you don't mind, I don't wanna get lost." Zim felt himself blush slightly. To be touched by a Tallest was an honor upon honors!

"Um...This way then" Zim started walking to the ice cream place." Purple hummed lightly looking around every so often waving a person or plant. In a few minutes the reached the ice cream parlor called 'Cold Stone'. When they got there Zim opened the door to let Purple go in first.

"Thank you!"

"ICE CREAM!" Gir squealed. Zim nodded. As soon as they walked in Zim shivered. This place was always cold but it had the best ice cream on the planet. Purple read the menu and turned to Zim,

"What's you're favorite kind?"

"Chocolate!" Gir yelled

"Cookie dough!" Zim licked his lip-less mouth. Purple glanced at the assortment of goodies and looked at the person behind the counter,

"Can I get...um chocolate with...er…oh gummy bears and...those colorful sphere things." the teen raised an eye brow,

"You mean M&Ms, sir?" Purple nodded. The clerk took out the ingredients and smashed them up and handed the cup to Purple. Once he got his ice cream Zim ordered his own,

"I'll have cookie dough with snickers and twixs"

"What about me Mastah?"

"Gir tell the human what you want"

"I want chocolate ice cream with all that stuff in it!" Purple sat cutely at a table, eating his ice cream watching the clerk make his companion's treats. Once Zim paid the clerk he and Gir went to go sit with Purple.

"Do you like it my Tallest?" Zim asked.

"M'hm!" he nodded, "It's really good!" Gir sat and ate his ice cream happily.

"He is so an alien Gaz!" Dib said opening the door for his sister, "He's got green skin and red eyes and a PAK for Pete's Sake!"

"He's not and Irken like Zim, Dib, he's a vampire piggy hunter!"

"He is so Gaz and-" Dib spotted Zim and Purple, "What're you doing here!" he stopped his screaming for a second to blush at how...well, _CUTE_ Purple looked.

"STINK-BEAST!" Zim pointed. "GET OUT WE WERE HERE FIRST!" Zim then grabbed his spoon and flicked ice cream at Dib's head.

"Dib? You stopped in mid sentence, what's up with you? You usually never shut up?" Gaz gasp sarcastically.

Purple giggled, and Dib's growled, "We can get ice cream too Zim! You don't rule the ice cream shop you know!"

"I will soon human oh I will own not only this ice cream place but the EARTH!" Zim burst into manic laughter. Purple blinked then laughed,

"Calm down Zim! Jeeze!" Zim stopped laughing and blushed slightly. Dib growled seeing the blush on Zim's face. For some reason he was…upset that Zim was blushing at Purple. Zim noticed Dib's growl and looked at the human funny. He then turned back to Purple,

"My Tallest are you ready to leave? This place has just got contaminated!" He said as he stared at Dib. Purple nodded and stood up, throwing his spoon and bowel in the trash, walking out with Zim and Gir. Dib frowned at Zim's hurtful comment. He shook his head; what was he thinking!

"Master, why is his head so big?" Purple sighed, stretching,

"That only killed about a half an hour, what now!"

"Well...there is always the mall. It's where humans buy things and 'hang-out'." Zim said

"Sounds fun!" he took Zim's hand again, swinging it between them. Once again Zim felt awkward holding hands with the Tallest, but did nothing. He was enjoying it, even though he would never admit it.

"Oh I just remembered!" Zim stopped walking "Gir, you're not allowed at a human mall. So you have to go back to the base" Purple blinked,

"Aw how come?"

"They do not allow dogs and Gir is in his dog costume" Zim replied

"That's mean." Purple pouted.

"Meanies" Gir was sad; he never got to go to the mall.

"Gir I promise next time you can wear your little brother disguise and we'll go to the mall soon ok?"

"Well, bye, Gir." Purple said sadly as Gir walked home. Zim sighed. Gir walked away; his usual happy skip switched to kind of a slow, groggy march down the road. Purple cuddled-up next to Zim as a strong wind blew past,

"Its cooold," he shuddered, "are we almost there?" Zim offered his trench coat to Purple to protect him against the wind.

"Thanks!" he said putting it on, and then returned to holding Zim's hand. Soon he and Purple made it to the mall and stepped inside the huge sliding doors.

"Oh! Nifty! Purple said looking around, "Well, where to?"

"Um...there is always the music store, the movie theatre, clothes stores. There are countless things we can do!" Zim said.

"Music? Movies? What're those?" Zim slapped his forehead. He forgot Purple didn't know what they were.

"Well the movies is were you...um...it's like watching TV only the screen is huge and its dark with many people" Zim said, "and music is listening to sounds then buying them"

"Sounds? Like people talking? That's stupid!"

"No no! It's hard to explain you have to listen to understand. It's a form of entertainment"

"You mean there are other forms of entertainment other than destroying, torturing, TV and puppets! Let's go there! I wanna know!" Purple said running into the mall, dragging Zim behind him.

- - - -

Keri: D: ARG, sorry guys, this was gonna be longer, but Punk-Penguin had to go (that's why Gir had to leave) and I had to go soon too, so me and Techno just ended it here.


	3. Chapter 3

As Zim was being dragged off by Purple, he realized something...Purple didn't know where the music store was.

"My Tallest, where are we going?"

"Hm? I dunno! Shouldn't the computer tell me when we're close?"

"Um…my Tallest, here on earth there is no computer to tell you where you have to go. You have to remember where you are going, or if you are lost you have to look at the map in the middle of the mall" Zim pointed to the directory. "But no worries I ZIM know the way and shall lead!" Purple stopped and looked at the map,

"That thing looks stupid! I bet it doesn't even talk...HEY LOOGIT THAT!" he ran over to a fake tree next the fountain near the directory, "Hello Vegetation! Are you related to the Vegetation by Zim's base?" Zim sighed,

"My tallest that is fake vegetation. It is purely for decoration" Purple cocked his head cutely,

"Why? What is the point in fake Vegetation?"

"I don't know. Humans are stupid." Zim said, trying to rid himself of the headache slowly forming on his right temple.

"Are they? I have yet to see a reason you believe them to be so-" right at that moment, a teen on a skateboard - who was running from security - rode past Purple, knocking him into the fountain.

"OMG!" Zim immediately grabbed Purple's flailing hand, and yanked him out of the water. Purple sat down on the floor at the edge of the fountain, gasping for breath, his wig was soaked and hanging over his face. Zim wrapped his arms around Purple, but not before fixing his wig so the humans wouldn't notice the antenna poking out off it.

"Are you alright Pur?" Purple blinked at Zim, only Red ever called him 'Pur'.

"Um, yes thanks." he hugged Zim tightly, trying to keep himself warm as he sat shivering on the mall floor. Zim looked worried as he realized what he had just called his Tallest.

"Um...should we go back to the base or do you still wish to go the store?" Purple sniffed, letting go of Zim.

"I still want to stay at the mall. I'm not that wet, I'll dry quickly." Zim sighed

"Come on the store is just two food courts down" Zim stopped holding Purple. He got up before he helped up his Tallest. Purple took Zim's hand and smiled down at him.

"Thanks Zim." he continued holding the 'invader's' hand until they got to the music store. In no time at all Zim and Purple where at the hugest store in the mall: FYE (For Your Entertainment). They stepped through the security doors and started browsing through DVDS.

"Hey Zim! Where's the 'music' that you were telling me about? I wanna know what the big deal is!" Zim looked about ready to cry as he left the porn section of the DVDs to show Purple the music. Purple sifted through the music until he came to a disc that looked...interesting,

"'Fall Out Boy From Under The Cork Tree' How do I listen to this?" Zim rolled his eyes at the group Purple chose. (A/n: Insert TechnovsKeri debate on FOB, lol.) Zim grabbed the CD and scanned it under the machine to sample music. After he grabbed the headphone set attached by a cord and placed them on Purple's would-be ears. Purple stared at Zim,

"I don't hear anything." Zim then looked at the scanner. If he would have been an anime character he would have done the famous anime fall, but NOT being anime Zim just sighed and turned the mute button off. Purple jumped slightly when he heard the woman's voice.

"Please choose song." he looked down the list and just decided to go with the first one. While Purple was occupied Zim sneaked back off to the anime yaoi porn section. Purple smiled, tapping his foot looking over the CD case. After the first few songs he looked around and took the head phones off. Where did Zim go? Purple suddenly became very, very frightened. His pulse quickened and he hugged the CD for dear life. He felt tears welt up in his eyes as he scanned the store for the smaller Irken. He fell to the floor, huddling into a ball, feeling the tears slide down his face. He was alone and frightened and vulnerable in the enemy territory right after his fellow Tallest had been kidnapped.

After Zim finished drooling at the covers of the DVDs he went back, only to see Purple huddled looking scared. Zim ran over and immediately started muttering apologies.

"Why did you leave me! Where on Irk were you!" he yelled in a choked sob. Zim blushed slightly,

"Uh-I-I...I was looking at something. I truly am sorry I thought you wouldn't mind since you seemed to be enjoying yourself." Zim knew he sounded stupid, but it was the only thing he could come up with. It was either that or degrade himself even more by admitting he was looking at homosexual cartoons instead of doing his job. Purple sniffed, rubbing his eye with his palm,

"I wanna buy this." If Zim hadn't been so depressed to see his Tallest like this he would've sighed at the fact that Purple was becoming a zombie to Fall Out Boy just like every other idiot human. Zim shrugged,

"Sure why not?" Purple smiled and stood up,

"Okay, how do we pay for this? I have no Earth monies." Zim smiled smugly,

"An invader must always be prepared." Purple walked over to the counter and handed the music-drone the CD. He scanned it and handed it back, holding his hand out for the cash,

"That'll be 12.95" Zim pulled out a 20 dollar bill and handed it to the music-drone. Purple watched in pure awe as the man and Zim exchanged Earth-monies.

"How much of that green papery stuff do you have, Zim?" he asked as they left the store.

"Quite allot actually, since I graduated Earth skool I decided to get a job as a chief executive officer to a large company; but, I never use it...only Gir to buy Suck Monkeys."

"Wow!" he muttered breathlessly, "You have another job outside the Empire! I've never heard of such a thing."

"These humans are actually fascinating at times. They cannot survive without money, and strive for it. They care only for money and nothing more not even conquest." Purple blinked, then shook his head,

"I don't believe it...wow, just wow." It was quiet for a bit, and then Purple turned to Zim, "Didn't you wanna buy whatever you were looking at?" Zim started sweating and stuttering,

"I-I was just…eh...looking at it. I didn't want to buy it." but inside in his head Zim was saying the opposite. He always went to that store for DVDs and a few other unmentionable things to satisfy him self. In fact Zim had quite a collection of bad things kept well hidden from Gir. Purple didn't even notice Zim's nervousness as he looked through the giant glass windows of each store,

"What were you looking at anyways?" Poor Zim. He was hoping Purple wasn't going to ask that, but sadly luck wasn't with the Irken and it wasn't in his nature to lie to a Tallest. He had been taught that if he ever lied he would be punished severely. So Zim did the next best thing. He said it _REALLY_ fast.

"Iwaslookingathumanpornagraphy" Zim said through clenched teeth. Purple looked at Zim in confusion,

"What? I couldn't understand you. Can you say it again, slower this time?" Zim closed his eyes and took a deep breath

"I-was-looking-at-human-pornography." Zim cowered a bit. He didn't know what to expect and that was what scared him the most. Purple blinked and cocked his head to each side,

"What's pornography?" If Zim was sitting in a desk he would've banged his head in hopes of a coma, but no luck.

"Pornography is entertainment for sexual activities. It's pictures and things of humans mating." Zim said while he hung his head in shame.

"Why would you be looking at that?" Zim flushed,

"I don't know...I just like it." Purple smiled,

"It's okay! So does Red! He'd just never let me watch any, he said I was too innocent, or something like that." Zim looked up so fast he heard his neck crack.

"Ow." Zim cringed. He then let out a deep sigh of relief, nearly jumping for joy, but remembering his training just smiled slightly. Purple held Zim's hand, swinging it between them; humming one of the songs he'd heard as the approached the wide glass doors.

Oh wow! Look at the sky." he said running out side and spinning around, "It's been so long since I've been able to look _up_ at the stars!" Zim looked surprised. He then grinned at an idea that suddenly popped into his head.

"My Tallest do you want to see the stars? I know the best place for stargazing" Purple looked at Zim, smiling brightly,

"Yes Zim! I want to see lots of stars! Lots and lots before I have to go back to the Massive! The stars aren't as pretty up in space with them." Zim then quickly started running to his favorite place in Earth. Soon he was climbing the steepest hill in the city, dragging Purple along with him. Once they were on the very top Zim stopped. Purple panted, leaning against a tree, looking down on the city. He gasped at all the stars he could see. Ooh-ing and Ah-ing as shooting stars passed over head. Zim grinned at the sounds of awe Purple was making. Zim remembered the first time he really saw the stars from here, and had nearly the same reaction. Purple sighed contently, leaning absentmindedly against Zim. Zim stiffened at the contact, but soon relaxed as he began to enjoy the sight and the mysterious feeling of warmth and bliss while Purple leaned against him. After awhile, Purple sat up and yawned.

"What time is it?" Zim checked his watch. His eyes widened a bit when he saw the time "Its 11:57"

"Is that a bad thing?" Purple asked, seeing the look on Zim's face.

"No...It's just we've been gone for a long time, it's quite late at night. We should be heading back." Purple nodded and stood up, stretching his back until it popped. "Well then, shall we?" Zim nodded; suddenly saddened at the loss of the tingly feeling since Purple was no longer leaning on him. Zim got up and quietly walked down the hill pondering his troubled thoughts. Purple ran down the hill, his arms out like a child's would be if they were pretending they were an airplane. He laughed loudly the whole way down, until he tripped on a rock and fell flat on his face. Zim stopped walking, he turned around and his lips quivered trying to stifle his laughter. He went over and helped Purple up. Nearly dropping both of them since he was having a hard time trying not to double over in laughter. Purple sniffed,

"That's not funny." he snapped, tears in his eyes, his elbows and palms cut and dirt all over his clothes. Zim immediately stopped laughing noticing the cuts. Zim sighed. He seemed to be doing that lately.

"Sit down" Zim told Purple quietly, getting disinfectant, bandages, and cleansing pads from his PAK. Purple sat reluctantly and allowed Zim to clean his wounds; flinching at the disinfectant. Zim wrapped bandages around Purples injuries silently while thinking about how much of a smeet Purple could be at times, but not in a bad way...it was kind of cute...and so was Purple. Zim was so shocked at that last thought that once he was finished he stood up and stared silently into nothing. Purple blinked at Zim; did Zim just blush at him. Why did the Irken keep doing that?

"Zim! As your Tallest I demand to know why you keep blushing at me!" Zim racked his brain trying to find a plausible excuse.

"Um...its cold I've been cold all day...and i wasn't 'blushing' it was from the cold; it is, after all, nearly time for the time of year when it's cold on earth." Zim mentally berated himself at the lame excuse.

"Oh," Purple said standing up and walking down the hill carefully.

- - - -

Purple opened Zim's door, hugging his alien-teddy bear close to him, "Psst, hey, Zim!" he whispered as loud as he could from the door-way.

"Hmm?" Zim mumbled sleepily "My Tallest?" Zim asked quietly rubbing his eyes.

"I-I can't sleep. I keep hearing and seeing things. I'm really scared, me and Red normally share a bed; can I stay with you. Please!" If Zim's eyeballs could have popped out of his head they would've.

"Um...uh...sure" he said scooting over to make room for Purple. Purple smiled,

"Thanks Zim." he walked over to Zim's bed, looking about nervously. He got under the covers next to the invader, scooting close to him, hugging his bear tightly.

**(Keri: For this part, me and Techno had to switch parts, I'm sorry.)**

Zim blushed darkly, watching his Tallest getting comfortable, before laying down himself. Purple snuggled as close to Zim as possible, loving the warmth emitting from him, while holding his alien stuffed animal closely. Zim coughed awkwardly,

"Um, you're a little close, My Tallest, not that I mind or anything!" he said as he saw the look on Purple's face. Purple pouted a little feeling hurt for no particular reason.

"Me and Red used to do this all the time, he didn't mind so much" Still confused as to why Zim was nervous.

"Oh, um, you did..." Zim felt rather hurt himself, he was hoping with all his Irken-heart that Red and Purple really weren't together like everyone said they were. Purple cocked his head confused.

"Yeah, I mean we are like best friends. Best friends do that."

"Oh," Zim sighed in relief, then realized he'd sighed allowed, and not in his head. Purple's antenna perked up,

"Why'd you sigh Zim?" Zim blushed,

"N-no reason I just um..."

"Zim don't lie to me," Purple said "you know you're not supposed to lie to a Tallest...ever" He added as an afterthought. Zim bit his lower lip. He pulled Purple close and pecked him on the lips, turning away blushing like an idiot,

"I-I was just worried that you and Red were together, that's all." he muttered. Purple looked surprised. Then for some reason he wanted more

"Zim...could you do that again" he begged; he could feel himself blushing. Zim turned back over to face his Tallest, sitting up now,

"Wh-what did you say?" Purple looked down,

"C-could you do that thing with your lips again...it was nice" Zim leaned closer,

"You mean you want me to kiss you again?"

"Yes that!" Purple said eagerly, loving this new experience. No one had ever done that to him, not even Red, who most people thought he was going-out with. Zim leaned in and kissed him again, deeper this time. He sat on his hands and knees over Purple, parting the kiss to smile at his Tallest. Purple smiled shyly up at Zim. His hands suddenly found their way up to Zim's antenna and started to stroke them gently. Zim sighed, now leaning on his elbows, his hips resting on Purples. Purple moaned as he felt Zim's hips on his own. suddenly he felt an odd unfamiliar feeling down south; his sleeping pants suddenly became tighter. He whimpered not knowing what it was.

"What's wrong?" Zim asked, his eyes opening lazily.

"S-something is wrong with my pants...they're tighter" Purple replied in a small scared voice. Zim smirked, maybe Purple really was too innocent for this.

"It's called an erection, My Tallest, you get one when you wish to mate."

"Oh..." Purple pouted "Why are you smirking?" The smirk grew bigger,

"Because you wanna mate with _me_, My Tallest." Purples eyes grew wide

"I do?" He thought about it, and whenever he imagined Zim doing _things_ to him he shivered with pleasure, (Keri: AND WHEN DOES PURPLE THINK ABOUT THIS TECHNO!) "You're right, Zim. Um…c-could you mate with me, please?" Zim smiled in his patented Zimmy way,

"Of course, My Tallest." he began to unbutton Purple shirt, licking the flesh as it was exposed. Purple started to make squeaky moaning noises as Zim licked his chest. It was all so new to him. Zim stripped the shirt off and threw it to the side. He reached up and began to suck on Purple's antenna. Purple bucked his hips in surprise, also letting out a series of whimpers and moans of pleasure as he felt Zim's tongue on his oh so sensitive antenna. Zim ran his tongue from the base to the tip, enjoying Pur's reaction to his movements. He was so glad that he only slept with pants on. He slipped his sock-covered toes up Purple's pant leg, listening to him whimper below him. Purple made happy squeaky noises when Zim's sock covered foot went up his legs. Zim smiled and kissed Purple gently before sliding off his pants and throwing them with his violet shirt. Purple sighed in relief as he felt his pants slip off, almost letting free his aching erection; he still had on purple boxers with pink hearts on. Zim smiled and slid his own pants off. He bit at the elastic of Purple's boxers, teasing his poor Tallest. Purple whimpered dying to have the boxers removed. He then lifted his hand to play with one of Zim's antenna. Zim slid his fingers inside his boxers, licking Purple's stomach. Zim felt Purple's erection against his neck, but he didn't mind. He tickled Purple's sides and felt pre-cum wet his Tallest's boxers.

**(Keri: Techno's Zim again /pouts/)**

Purple moaned,

"Zim, p-please. I ca-can't take it anymore." he arched his back, blushing madly, "Y-you're so good at this!" Zim smirked, loving the way his Tallest complimented him. The hand that was still in Purples boxers wrapped his fingers around his erection and gave it a slight squeeze, before yanking his boxers off with his teeth, and tossing them to the floor. Purple grabbed the back of Zim's head, pulling him up into a deep kiss; stroking his antenna; his legs wrapping around Zim's hips, pulling them down. Zim slipped his tongue into Purple's mouth, and he wrapped his own tongue around Purple's. While he was doing that he rubbed his hips along Purple's making their erections touch. Purple yelped into the kiss at the touch down south. He arched his back, pushing their hips closer together.

_'Oh Zim, I love you so much.'_ He thought. A little voice in his head piped up,

_'How could you do this with him when you've just been lying to him his whole life!'_ Zim, unaware of the conflicted emotions in Purple's mind, grabbed some lube out of his PAK and prepared Purple's opening before slipping his finger inside. Purple moaned deeply, trying to seat himself on Zim's probing fingers.

"Zim, oh Zim!" he panted. Zim smiled slightly before inserting another finger, and scissoring Purple as he pumped his fingers. Purple gasped, gripping the blankets tightly. A thin layer of sweat sparkling on his forehead; he spread his legs, moaning Zim's names over and over. Zim removed his fingers from Purple's opening, and started to lubricate his penis before setting himself in position.

"My Tallest...a-are you sure you want to do this?" Zim asked uncertainly. Purple panted, opening one eye to look at Zim. He stroked his antenna, kissing Zim's forehead.

"I'm s-sure." Zim looked pleased; he gave Purple a long kiss while he slipped himself inside Purple giving him time to adjust to the length. Purple moaned into the kiss. It hurt, but not to bad, and in a good way. He clawed at Zim's back, trying to avoid the PAK as best he could. Once Zim was sure that it wouldn't hurt Purple he started to thrust slowly, soon gaining rhythm and moving a little faster. Purple moaned loudly, throwing back his head,

"Oooh Ziiim! Harder!" Zim trusted harder; he moved his free hand to Purples crotch and started pumping it in rhythm with his thrusts. Purple yelped at the touch on his Irken man-hood. He felt his climax coming soon,

"Z-Zim, I-I'm almost there..." he whined. Zim stopped thrusting, and pulled his penis out of Purple, and positioned himself so his head was were Purple's cock was. He looked up at his Tallest as he flicked his tongue over the tip before taking the whole thing in his mouth, and deep throating it. Purple scram as he was taken into Zim's warm mouth. He wrapped his hands around Zim's head, holding him there.

"Oh Zim! Please! O-oh Irk, Zim!" he yelled, cuming into his mouth. Zim swallowed it all, once it was all well done he licked at the rest of the cum left until it was gone. Purple looked at Zim's still hard cock questioningly,

"How do I...?"

"Uh..." Zim thought not knowing how to put it into words "Um...my Tallest wouldn't it be better if I just showed you?" Zim then gently lowered Purple's head to his cock and proceeded to show him. Purple was a little surprised at having Zim's hard-on being shoved into his mouth. He looked up at Zim, questioning him with is eyes as what to do. He supposed he should just do what Zim did to him. He wrapped his tongue around his length, giving it a tight squeeze. Zim let out a loud moan as he felt Purple's tongue squeeze his member, and thrust into his mouth. Purple tried not to gag; Zim was to be to be in his mouth all the way. He continued to lick on it anyways thought. He sat on his elbows, trying to make it easier on him. He was so tired; he just wanted to go to sleep. Zim gripped the sheets tightly.

"P-Pur I'm going to cum" Zim panted. Purple bit down gently; the sucking and licking never stopped. He just wanted to sleep; this whole 'sex' thing - although enjoyable - was highly tiring. Zim closed his eyes and let out a loud moan as he came into purple's mouth. Purple swallowed it; he let go and began coughing and gagging. He fell backwards, panting for breath. Zim looked up worried,

"You okay?" Purple sat up,

"M'fine, just…tired. Is sex always this tiresome?"

"Most of the time...but it also could be that it's very late" Zim replied shrugging.

"Do you have lots of sex Zim? Like, with humans? Or are there other Irkens here?" Zim looked surprised at Purple's question for a second.

"Yes...I have been with a human once...but it was a long time ago and doesn't matter!" Purple quirked a non existent eyebrow,

"Who? I thought you hated humans."

"I do human are DISGUSTING FLITH!" Zim said in his usual Zim style pointing his finger in the air. Purple smiled sadly, laying down and getting settled for the night. Zim, also exhausted, slowly crawled next to him and instantly fell asleep. Purple sighed, the guilt in his heart growing heavier. His eyelids also seemed to grow twice their normal weight until Purple couldn't stand it anymore and let them fall.

- - - -

Keri: Woo! Man this is a long chapter!

Techno: And it kicked ass too XD YAY WE FINALYYYY FISNISHED /JIGS THE NIGHT WAY/

Keri: 7 word-pages too


	4. Chapter 4

Keri: Zis is me and Techno's ZADR chappie, oh zeh drama!

- - - -

Dib sat quietly on the bench, alone, as usual. He sighed, watching the other kids play with their friends on the "playground". He felt his heart soar when he saw Zim, sitting alone, under a tree. He supposed Almighty Tallest Purple was too good to go to human skool. He got up and walked over to the alien. Zim sat, on his favorite spot under the tree pondering over last night, when he saw the Dib-human approach.

"Um, hi Zim, mind if I sit down?" Zim lifted an 'eyebrow' in confusion, and nodded. Dib sat next to him, lookin out at the kids. The hi-skool didn't have much equipment for the kids to "play" with, but they made do with what they had.

"Zim," he didn't look at him, "are you and Purple just friends or..."

"Dib," Zim said dropping the insults, "Whatever happens between me and Purple is none of your concern, we agreed on that when we decided to be enemies again." Dib pouted and turned to him,

"Zim! I don't want to be enemies again!" he clung to Zim's arm, "I can't stand to see you two together! I don't even remember why we broke up! And I kick myself every day for allowing it to happen with out a fight first; I just, let you dump me!" Zim gave a half-hearted shove,

"Let go of me human." Dib lower lip trembled,

"So that's it huh? You have no feelings other than hate for me again?"

"I never had _feelings_ for you. What we had was purely sexual, and that was it!" Zim growled. Dib felt tears in his eyes,

"That's not right, Zim." he said weakly, he stood up, "I guess you really are a heartless alien bastard." he walked off back into the skool even though it was almost over. Zim smacked himself on the forehead.

"DIB-H-…Dib wait!" Zim called out as he followed Dib back to Skool. Some of the kids turned to watch the fight,

"I thought they'd broken up." Zita said to Aki. Aki just shrugged. Dib didn't slow even as he heard the alien running behind him. He walked straight into the boy's bathroom and shut and locked the door after making sure there was no one in there. He huddled up in a stall and began to cry, pulling a razor blade out of the sole of his boot.

**(Techno: gasp!**

**Keri: drama!)**

Zim quickly followed Dib to the boy's bathroom where he found the door locked.

"Dib open the door." he called out while trying to unlock the door. Finally losing he's patience he took out a laser and zapped the lock open. He heard Dib's sobs coming from a stall. He walled over and knocked gently.

"Dib..." Dib's head perked up,

"What'd you want!" Zim sighed deeply.

"Come out of there...I just want to talk."

"Why? Why do you care?" he rolled up his left sleeve, exposing his scar-covered wrist. He slide the razor across gently enough to draw blood but not cut any major arteries.

"I don't know! Ok just open this door before I break it and you know I will" Zim replied quickly losing his patience.

"Why! You have a new little play thing!" Zim growled.

"Now you're pushing it human. Neither you nor Purple are play things." Dib sniffed,

"But you said out there that what was had was purely sexual." Zim closed his eyes.

"Dib I only said that...because-well I don't know why I said it, ok?" Zim sighed again "Dib come out...please" Dib sniffed, slicing his wrist again, this time deeper; a rather large drop of blood made a barely audible "plop" noise as it hit the ground. Zim opened his eyes quickly when he heard a plop coming from inside the stall. His heart started beating faster.

"D-dib what are you doing!" Dib gave a chocked sob, slicing again, a few more drops falling on the floor. Zim decided enough was enough, so he used one of his spider legs to unlatch the stall on the other side. Once the stall door opened Zim gasped in shock.

"Go away." Dib said breathlessly, slicing once more before switching hands, clumsily slicing his right wrist. Zim went over to Dib and took the razor away from his hand. Once Zim disposed of it buy blasting it with his laser he whispered,

"W-why?" he tried to hold back his tears, but knew he couldn't when he felt something wet slide down his cheeks. Dib turned away, huddling in on him self,

"Why not?" Zim glared even though he was still crying,

"Don't play these mind games with me!"

"You want to know why I cut myself. Is that it Zim!" he turned to the alien, "I'll tell you why: I have a little sister - who I'm pretty sure is Satan - who beats me up at least three times a day, a skool system that mocks me and thinks I'm crazy, a father who hates me AND hits me, and now, I find out that the only person I've ever loved, hates me too!" Zim dropped to his knees,

"I-I don't hate you Dib..." He turned away again,

"You're just saying that so I'll stop cutting. I know you Zim. You don't care about anyone but yourself. I used to think you cared, that you loved me. But I guess I was wrong."

"I do love you!" Zim cried out. Dib turned to him,

"Y-you do? Then wh-why did you dump me?" Zim sighed once more,

"B-because...I was a-afraid."

"Of what?" Dib leaned closer. Zim also leaned closer, his eyes half lidded.

"Betrayal…" He then placed his lips on Dib's. Dib's eyes widened at the sudden kiss, though it was a short one as Zim pulled back much too soon. Dib's eyes softened.

"Zim," he placed his hand on the alien's cheek, "I could never betray you."

**(Techno: giggle**

**Keri: IZ GETTIN' GOOD! Nice and joosy, like a squid…**

**Techno: they will NOT have sex in the bathroom!)**

Zim smiled slightly, but looked sad again when he grabbed Dib's wrist,

"I want you to stop this." he pionted at the cuts. Dib frowned, the bleeding had stopped but it still stung.

"I feel like I have to or I'll go insane. Well, more so then everyone says." Zim shook his head sadly, and pulled Dib into a hug. He rested his head on top of Dib's.

"Well then will have to risk you going more insane then won't we?" Zim joked. Dib was taken aback by the joke. Wait...joke? Zim? Does not compute...He smiled and kissed Zim's chin.

"I love you, Zim."

"And I you, human" suddenly Zim felt a pang of guilt as he remembered Purple, but pushed it aside, he would deal with it later. Dib nuzzled into Zim's chest.

"Skool's over," he commented glancing at his watch. Zim smirked as a plan formed in his head.

"Lets go to your house…" he said, but not before hiding the smirk. Dib blushed. He hadn't meant THAT, but he was more than willing to go along with what ever was going on in that perverted head of Zim's.

"I think Gaz's at Iggins house, and if dad's at home, then he'll probably keep to him self. So we'll pretty much be all alone." Zim purred,

"Yes that sounds good." Dib stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He took Zim's hand as the alien stood up. They exited the stall and Dib saw what Zim'd done to the door.

"Damn," Zim noticed also.

"Let's go before anyone notices the door." Dib giggled as he was led out the skool.

"You wanna take my car or you wanna call your Voot?"

"I'd rather we not take the Voot. Gir went to Crazy Taco with it and it now has Taco wrappers everywhere." Zim shuddered as he thought of all the grease. Dib couldn't help but laugh.

"You wanna drive or should I?"

**(Keri: 2 smecks chaps in a row XD man we're good**

**Techno: oh yeeeeah jigs we're also perverts! XD**

**Keri: but our fans love us!**

**Techno: all the more for it!**

**Keri: wo0t!)**

"I'll drive I – ZIM - can get us there the fastest!" Zim said as he struck a pose. Dib rolled his eyes,

"Yes the amazing Zim shall break any and all speed limits to drive 6 miles in less than 20 seconds." Zim smirked,

"Of course I will. I have no need to follow any of your pathetic earth speeding limits! And it gives us more time." he said seductively. Dib blushed madly.

"Y-yes well, um, just don't get a ticket or anything. 'Cause I'm not gonna pay for it." Zim raised an eyebrow.

"You look good when you blush...you should do it more often." Zim walked in front of Dib, "But then of course you always are appealing in Zim's mighty eyes." Dib's blush deepened,

"Even before we started going out?"

"Hmm," Zim pretended to be deep in thought, "maybe." Dib unlocked his car,

"Tease," he went around to his own side and got in.

"Look who's talking, all those times you broke into my base and DIDN'T get in bed with me!" Zim smirked as he got in the drivers seat. Dib's face was bright enough to rival Rudolph's nose,

"Y-yeah well..." Suddenly Dib was slammed into his seat as Zim started driving at least 90 MPH.

"AH! Zim's slow down!" Dib buckled his seat-belt, but felt it would be no help as Zim's sped through the streets of an unsuspecting city.

"Do you not trust in Zim?" Zim asked as he nearly dodged running over an old man with a cane crossing the street.

"I-I do! It's just..." _Think fast Dib_, "it's just this is a major turn-off." Zim immediately hit the brake causing him and Dib to hit there heads painfully on the windshield. Dib groaned,

"Owey, Zimmy you hurt my head." he pouted like a baby.

"Aww let Dr. Zim make it all better!" Zim said as he unbuckled Dib's seatbelt and placed him on his lap giving him kisses on his forehead; not caring that he stopped in the middle of the road causing heavy traffic. Dib smiled,

"Can I have a lolly pop?" Zim smirked,

"You can have mine." Dib giggled, before moving his hand to Zim's, cough, lower belly. Suddenly Zim and Dib jumped as they were interrupted by loads of blaring horns in the background. A car swerved around them, the owner yelling out his window,

"MOVE IT YOU GAY JERK-WADS!"

"PISS OFF YOU VAGINAL BELCH!" Zim yelled out the window as he gave the dude who drove by the finger. Dib gasped,

"Zim! That's horrible!" he burst out in laughter and gave the invader a big smooch before returning to his seat. Zim chuckled,

"Blame those humans who created North Park! Or whatever that show was called...I particularly like the fat one. Now lets go to your house quickly!" Zim started again only driving SLIGHTLY slower. Slightly meaning 70 instead of 90. Dib shook his head, turning on the radio.

"I love this song!" he shouted as he sang along to "Roses Are Red" by Aqua. Zim sighed rolling his eyes.

"I swear human even when you DIDN'T know you were gay it was so obvious!" Dib blinked and pouted, crossing his arms,

"Meanie." Zim once again hit the brakes causing them to hit the wind shield and accidentally kill a squirrel. Zim glared at the human,

"I was joking, human. Apparently you do not know how to take a joke." Dib eyed him as horns started once more,

"It's just, you never joke, so when you do, it's hard to tell." Zim took this as an offense

"Fine I'll be back to how I 'usually' am and go back to trying to kill you instead of making you laugh!" Zim said ignoring the blaring in the background. Dib's heart skipped a beat as he looked at his companion,

"Oh, Zim, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it as an insult. I love you, really, I do!" Zim sighed his anger fading.

"I know you do." he started driving again only without the insane going beyond speed limit. In fact he was going below speed limit like 5 MPH. Dib sighed, pecking Zim on the cheek.

"I really missed being able to call you my boyfriend, Zim. Did you miss it too?" Zim gave a soft smile,

"Of course I did." but in his mind Zim was having a major battle. It was true he still had feeling for the Dib-Human, but he could not deny his growing feeling for Purple. Dib smiled, playing with the sleeve of Zim's uniform.

"Zim, do you really love me?" Zim didn't answer, instead he grabbed the hand playing with his sleeve and held it tightly. Dib smiled and kissed the alien's knuckles.

"We're here!" he said happily as Zim almost passed his house. Zim parked the car in front of Dib's house, and got out, then went to open Dib's door for him. Dib giggled and got out, kissing Zim deeply.

"I really missed this." he whispered against Zim's lips. Zim couldn't help but smile as he wrapped his arms around Dib's waist.

"And I missed you." Dib lead Zim through the house,

"Damn it..." he mumbled as he saw his father watching TV. Membrane looked up as he saw his son walked in, his expression froze as Zim wondered in behind him,

"Hello son, um, and Zim. I thought you two broke up..." Dib smiled weakly,

"Yeah, um, we got back together..." he coughed awkwardly, his blush returning. Membrane glared at Zim,

"Well, keep your door open." Zim glared back at Membrane remembering how much he despised the Professor. As Membrane and Zim exchanged glares, Dib pouted. He lead Zim up the stairs and to his room, leaving the door open.

"Well, I guess we won't be having any fun until my dad goes to his lab." Zim glared, imagining Membrane getting run over by a pack of wild boars then getting his body mutilated by vultures. Dib tossed off Zim's wig, licking his antenna,

"But that doesn't mean we can't play around, just as long as we're quiet about it." Zim moaned as he felt Dib licking his sensitive antenna. His hands found there way to Dib's bum and gave it a squeeze. Dib squeaked as he pushed Zim onto his back,

"Make me beg for you." he whispered into Zim's neck. Zim's hands moved from Dib's ass to his crotch area, and one hand slowly undid the zipper, while the other one managed to get Dib's semi-hard erection, causing it to become fully erect. Dib hissed, "Oh Zim...please..." he pressed into Zim's hand. Zim turned over so that he was on top now, and started moving his fingers in a circular motion on the tip of Dib's erection.

"I love to hear you beg human, maybe if you beg more…" Dib whimpered,

"Zim, please, my Irken Master!" Zim smirked. Oh Irk how he missed the human calling him master. He stopped playing with Dib's cock and slowly grabbed the pants bringing them down slowly to his knees.

"Keep going human; keep moaning my name, you little slut!" Zim said as he flicked his tongue on Dib's balls. Dib moaned, trying his best to keep it low so his father wouldn't hear,

"Oh Zim! P-please, I'm not fit to lick your boots or even kiss the ground you've walked on!"

"Good human, I'm glad you haven't forgotten your place." He then took the human whole, wrapping his tongue around the member while his hands played with Dibs balls. Dib shoved a pillow over his mouth, muffling the scream, thought his moan was still audible,

"H-how c-could I forget!" Zim hummed a little with Dib's cock still in his mouth, trying to resist the urge to throw his pants of and fuck the human right there. Dib panted, sitting up.

"H-hold on Zim." he got up returning his pants to their original place. He snuck down stairs and found that his dad had gone to the lab. He skipped happily back up, glomping Zim from behind, "It's safe to take our clothes off now." he whispered in Zim's ear-spot. Zim grinned manically flipping Dib around so he was on the bottom again. He quickly, and with skilled hands, undid the human's pants and threw them on the floor along with his underwear. Dib blushed,

"I moved the lube, hold up." he jumped over to his desk, bringing the bottle over and set it on his bed-side table. He licked his lips, settling himself back in front of Zim.

"I brought a few of my own stuff too, human." Zim smirked as he pulled handcuffs from his PAK. Dib's eyes widened,

"Z-Zim, we've never done anything _kinky_ before..."

"Well now is a good time to start then." Zim licked his lips, and grabbed the Dib's wrist, cuffing them to the bed post.

"What about my shirt and coat, Zim? Are we gonna fuck with those on?"

"Damn," Zim mumbled; Dib giggled. He undid the cuffs, and nearly ripped off the last remaining clothes the human had on. Dib squirmed as he was re-cuffed.

"This isn't so bad."

"Heh, we haven't even gotten started human. While we were...separated, I took time to watch some interesting things." Zim said as he pulled 'things' out of his PAK. Dib's eyes widened again,

"Zim, you watched 'pervert shows'! You must've really missed me!"

"Hm...maybe, but these weren't just pervert shows these were the cartoons from a foreign country called ya-o-i or something" Dib blushed,

"You watched gay porn while we were apart!"

"M'hm yes, yes I did now make silence until I TELL you to speak!" Dib snapped his jaw shut, looking at Zim with needy eyes. Zim grabbed a black blindfold from the pile of things on the bed, and proceeded to blindfold him. Dib squeaked, squirming some more under the Irken. Zim moaned as he felt the human squirm under him. Dib made an unhappy noise as the blindfold pushed his glasses painfully on his nose. Zim grinned from ear to ear (if he had ears). He quickly removed all of his clothes, and grabbed a blue container from the pile that he had grabbed the blindfold, and proceeded to rub the contents of the container, once it was open, over his erect member. Dib heard a noise that sounded allot like a whipped cream container. He quirked an eyebrow behind the blindfold. He opened his mouth to say something, but snapped it closed, remembering what he'd been told. After a few minutes Zim finally spoke,

"Open your mouth." Dib opened it as wide as he could, not knowing what he was getting, but he had a pretty good idea. Zim positioned his whip creamed covered erection over the Dib-humans ready mouth. Dib felt a drop of whipped cream fall onto his tongue, his eyes under the blind-fold. Zim put his erection in Dib's mouth,

"Now suck!" he commanded. Dib felt the whip-cream slide down his throat as Zim shoved himself in. He proceeded to lick Zim as he was told; a shiver of pleaser shooting up threw him. Zim groaned as he felt Dib's tongue lick, and used most of his energy trying to control himself from slamming into his mouth. Dib bit down gently for a second, before licking where his teeth had been. He repeated the process once or twice before he began to suck as hard as he could. Zim opened his mouth in a silent scream of pleasure as he felt the human bit his cock. He grabbed Dib's hair, and started to thrust in the Dib's mouth while muttering 'mine'. Dib moaned around the erection. He loved being dominated, being reminded that Zim _was_, in fact, the superior species. Not to mention he just plain liked being controlled. As soon as he felt himself about to come Zim told Dib to stop, and pulled himself out. Dib let go, licking away pre-cum, saliva, and whipped cream. Zim grabbed the lube, and rubbed it around the human's entrance. Zim had grown tired of the foreplay, and was dying to pound into him. Dib wiggled with anticipation as he heard Zim opening the lube. Whimpering in pleaser.

- - - -

Purple paced about the living room. he'd listened to his new FOB CD at least twice the full way through. He looked at the door anxiously, expecting any minute now his lover would bound in and kiss him and explain why he'd been gone so long. He turned to the little blue SIR unit sitting on the couch.

"Gir, do you know where Zim is?" Gir looked up from watching the Scary Monkey Show

"Masters wif da big-head!" he cried out waving his stuffed moose. Purple blinked, _'Big head?'_ he thought. Then he remembered back a few years,

"You mean that creepy kid with glasses and black hair?"

"Yup! He and master used to go to big-heads house all the time!" he squealed. Purple remembered back to last night, _"Yes...I have been with a human once...but it was a long time ago..."_ He blinked,

"Gir, did Zim and that large-headed boy used to be boyfriends. Like, you know...um...kissing and mating and stuff?" Gir giggled,

"Yeah! They used to do it all the time! They also did lots of this…" Gir started demonstrating by having his toy moose hump the piggy on the couch. Purple felt his eye twitch,

"Um, yes, could you show me where he lives?" he felt his heart sink. So Zim and that human used to be together, and Zim suddenly disappears and he ends up being over at his house. Purple felt like he could just cry.

"Okie dokie!" Gir squealed as he grabbed Purple's hand, and let him to Dib's house; he knew the way by heart. Purple rang the door-bell and a rather tall man - almost taller than him - answered,

"Hello." he said in a bored, monotone voice.

"Um, is Zim here?" he squeaked. The man raised an eyebrow,

"He's upstairs."

"Um, thank you." Purple slipped into the home and up the stairs, opening the blue door. He gasped as he saw Dib and Zim. He felt hot tears pool in his eyes, "Z-Zim..." Zim whipped his head around so fast he felt his neck pop, but he ignored the pain as he looked up in shock at Purple. Dib quickly flicked his wrists and got out of the cuffs, removing the blindfold.

"I can't believe..." he felt the tears runs across his cheeks, "I-I hate you!" he yelled as he ran down the stairs. Zim got off Dib, and quickly put his clothes on.

"PURPLE WAIT!" Zim called out. Once he had then on he ran downstairs to catch up to Purple. Dib jumped up, pulling on a robe,

"Zim! If you love me you'll get back up here! NOW!" Zim ran out the door ignoring Dib's cry, and saw Purple running with Gir chasing him happily like they were playing tag. Zim took out his spider legs, and started running faster catching up to Purple. Soon he was an inch away, and that's when he flipped over Purple landing in front of him.

"Get away from me!" he yelled, tears staining the front of his shirt, "I was an idiot for thinking that you loved me! And I'm an idiot for loving you!" Zim opened his eyes in shock.

"Y-you love m-me?"

"YES! OF COURSE I DO! WHY WOULD YOU THINK I DIDN'T!"

"Sorry if I don't think that banishing someone, giving them a false mission, and laughing behind there back is a show of love!" Zim yelled tears brimming his eyes.

"Well I'm sorry if Red's the one who calls all the shots in the Empire! I'm really just there for looks, you know! I don't do anything! I don't sign anything! I don't have a say in anything! I've always liked you Zim!" his voice lowered into more of a pathetic whine, "I always have. I just, never thought you'd like me back, so I just, followed Red. I didn't think you'd care." he sighed "Zim...I'm sorry, I really am..." he ran off again. Zim stood still in shock as he let Purples words register is his mind. Now the tears were flowing freely; he ran after Purple.

"P-please wait up!" he called out. Purple was running too fast, not looking were he was going, he ran into a pole and fell on the grass next to him, curling into a ball. Sobbing loudly. Zim spotted Purple on the floor, and ran over to him. Zim was about to hug Purple, when he pulled back. His Tallest probably wouldn't want to be touched by him; so Zim just fell on his knees quietly sobbing next to Purple. Purple gave out a chocked sob.

"I'm s-so sorry Zim. I promised myself that if I ever became a Tallest, I'd be like Miyuki: always kind and giving everyone chances, chances, and more chances. But then me and Red became Tallest together, and things got out of hand. Every laugh, Zim, was faked or strained. And every night, I'd lay awake, yelling at myself for letting Red treat you like that. I never wanted to be like this Zim. And for that, I'm sorry." Zim lifted his head,

"I-its not your fault," he whispered sadly. He then went to hold Purple in his arms silently waiting for the violet eyed Tallest to push him away. Purple gladly lay in Zim's arms, cuddling up in his shirt,

"Why did you go with the human? Was I not enough for you or do you still love him?" Zim sighed,

"I still have an attraction to the human, though I do admit the one I have for you has always been stronger, but he was there when I needed someone." Purple sniffed...how he did it with out a nose is beyond me,

"S-so, you just used him?"

"I don't really know how to explain. Sometimes I really felt something for the human then other times I realized, in a way, I was using him." Purple hugged him tightly,

"But you're not using me, right? Be honest."

"No I swear! I loved you since...well even before you became a Tallest. I just started realizing my feelings when you came to Earth...I guess all those times when I contacted you to show you my plans of world domination I was trying to impress you." Purple chuckled a little into Zim's chest,

"It worked, most of the time at least. You know Zim, you try twice as hard as anyone else in the universe, and Red just thinks you're stupid. You're not though. You keep trying even if you know you can't do it." he smiled, "I remember, back when we were smeets, everyone told you that you were short, and that's how you'd stay. But you were hell-bent on becoming a Tallest. And look at you now, you're almost as big as me!" Zim smiled

"I guess I have grown allot...hm...for some reason becoming a Tallest doesn't sound as appealing as it used to be." Purple looked up at him,

"Oh yeah, and why not!" he said in a fake-annoyed tone before he smiled, poking Zim where his nose should've been. Zim laughed,

"Well because now that I think about it being a Tallest sorta makes you kind'a dumb...I mean look at Red!" Zim winked. Purple laughed, before nuzzling his face in Zim's neck,

"I still love you, Zim." Zim sighed in relief,

"I still love you too and always will, I promise" he said holding Purple closer.

- - - -

MEANWHILE

Dib stood at the head of the stairs; watching, mouth agape, as Zim ran after Purple. He felt tears staining his face. He stormed back into his room, locking the door behind him. He angrily threw all of Zim's stuff out the window.

"I hate him! I can't believe he would use me like this!" he yelled at the sky, "You said you loved me, Zim! You said you wanted to be with me again! And then you run off with your whore of a Tallest!" he slammed the window closed. He huddled up in a corner, sobbing his eyes out. Membrane looked back and forth between the front door and the stairs. He shook his head,

"My poor, insane son and his poor, insane friends."

- - - -

**Keri: DX finally, zeh drama es over! FO' NOW!**

**Techno: PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY now go post!**

**Keri: rotfl XD**


	5. Chapter 5

**Keri: ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTURE! No? Well that's too bad! I bet you're all wonderin' wtf happened to Red, right! Well, here's the amazing chapter!**

**Author's Note:** Because Shloonktapooxis is REALLY hard to remember how to spell, we're just gonna call him Shloo. XD Ah, lazyness.

**Keri ish be Lard Nar and teh Resisty and Tak and Skoodge**

**Techno ish be Shloonktapooxis and Red and zeh Irken Empire**

- - - -

Lard Nar walked about the ship. Well, more liked hopped. His right hand man/cone-thing Shloonktapooxis hovering next to him. Shloo watched as Lard Nar hopped about the ship with interest, but finally, getting bored, decided to speak up,

"Um...like what are we gonna do with the tall red dude?" Lard Nar smiled wickedly,

"That's what you're about to find out, my friend." they approached the prison ward and two guards followed behind them, "Well hello My Tallest." Red raised an 'eyebrow',

"If you're gonna keep me prisoner could you AT LEAST make this more inhabitable?" Red said as he rolled his eyes. Shloo looked at Lard Nar,

"He does have a point, man." Lard Nar growled lowly, his horns twitching. He took a deep breath, his creepy/clam smiled returning.

"'My Tallest' we didn't build the prison to make you comfortable. **(Keri and Techno: Megadoomer spoof, rotfl)**We built it to serve its purpose: keeping scum like you locked up!" Red crossed his arms,

"Look who's talking, Vortian filth!" Lard Nar's right horn twitched, but other than that he made no indignation that he heard the crimson Tallest.

"I bet you're wondering why we've kidnapped you."

"Hm...not really." Red said shrugging his shoulders. Lard Nar quirked an eyebrow,

"You're not?"

"Nope," Shloo twirled around in the air; bored. The guards couldn't help but chuckle at Red's incompetence to go along with their captain's plan. Red smirked and sat back as comfortable as he could; looking nonchalant. Lard Nar huffed,

"Well fine, I guess, since you're having such a nice time that you don't want to go back to the Massive to eat your doughnuts and see your boyfriend again." he turned to leave. Red started laughing hysterically.

"Y-you think Purple's my b-boyfriend?" he started rolling on the floor in laughter. Shloo started laughing too for no particular reason. The guards started to laugh awkwardly. Lard Nar turned to him,

"Well of course, everyone in the universe does. I mean, it's completely obvious." Red stopped laughing for a second too wipe a tear from his eye.

"Puh-lease me and him are just friends from the academy; I know he likes Zim." Lard Nar's eyes widened,

"So you're saying that you have no problem being an arrogant, pompous, ass-whole to your best friend's crush? AND you trust Zim not to take advantage of this crush while Purple is staying - unprotected - at his base on Earth?" Red raised an eyebrow,

"Well yeah I have a problem with it, but it's not like I can tell him what to do!" Red's eyes widened in shock, "He's at Zim's?"

"Of course he is! Knowing your idiotic 'Empire' they'd want to send him into neutral territory, and Earth is the only neutral planet."

"Hmm...makes sense." he then shrugged once more in boredom, seemingly unaffected by the news. Lard Nar's horn quirked in suspicion,

"You're not worried for him? Zim's seems to be quite unstable, not to mention a ticking time-bomb of insanity."

"Yeah he's psychotic, but he won't DO anything to Purple...except maybe DO him." Red chuckled. Lard Nar shook his head and mumbled 'You Irkens.' before walking back upstairs to the main level. Shloo quirked his head to the side,

"I wonder what he meant by DO him. Hm..." he then floated off to follow Lard Nar.

"You can't be serious?" Lard Nar questioned, "Do you honestly not know what he meant?"

"Uh...NOPE!" He opened his mouth to explain, but thought better of it and just shook his head.

"Aw come on man what's it mean!" Shloo prodded not wanting to forget.

"It means, that he um..." he was cut off by a female Irken ran up to him,

"Sir, we have more recruits from the I.A.I.! And, we're also being hailed by the Armada." she ran off again to do her business.

**(Keri: I.A.I., Irkens Against Irk)**

Shloo quickly lost interest at the thought of meeting new members, and followed the Irken female. Lard Nar sighed, happy to be out of that awkward conversation. He made his way to the control room to tell his demands; hoping to his Vortian God that Shloo wouldn't scare them back to the Empire. He sat in his captain's chair to accept the call. On the screen appeared a tall Irken female with long curly antenna and green eyes, glaring. Lard Nar nodded his head, curtly,

"Are you ready to hear our demands?" The Irken female, Suri, nodded back just as curtly. Lard Nar stood, "Alright, I'd get some one to dictate," Suri looked over to one of the advisers, and told him in Irken to start writing it down. Once the Irken had gotten ready, Suri looked back at the Vortian indicating he could go on. Lard Nar clear his throat, "First off, we want at least two planets free of Irkens and any technology. Just two bare planets that can be under Resisty rule. Secondly, we demand 5,000 ships. And lastly, we demand the release of all prisoners on planet Vort." Suri opened her eyes in shock at the request,

"Y-you can't be serious?"

"Oh we are very serious! These demands are only a fraction of what we originally had!"

**- MEANWHILE -**

One of the purple-eyed females looked around; she turned to her red-eyed companion,

"This is boring Skoodge," she whispered, "and we're close to the prison, can we execute the plan now?" Skoodge looked at her,

"Just gimmie a sec, okay Tak! EXCUSE ME!" he said to Shloo, "Um, we've all been dying to poke fun at Red, can we go to the prison ward?" Shloo blinked, the after a few seconds answered,

"SURE! HE'S OVER THERE!" he began started leading them to the end of the hall to Red's cell. Skoodge smiled at Tak,

"Thank you," she bowed before her and the rest of the Irkens made their way to the cell. Shloo hovered off to the control deck where Lard Nar was making his demands. Lard Nar was still fighting with Suri,

"-so unless you think that the Empire can survive with out its darling Tallest Red, then you shall meet our demands!" Suri sighed in defeat,

"Fine...how long do we have?" she asked dejectedly. Lard Nar smiled, sighing in relief as he sat back in his chair,

"How does 4 months sound?"

**- MEANWHILE…again -**

Tak and Skoodge and the rest of the "I.A.I. recruits" burst into the prison. They had already taken out all the guards - yes, all two of them - and were carrying their shock-staffs. Tak ran up to Red's cage and proceeded to try and find the correct key. Red smiled as he saw Tak and the rest of the Irkens coming to save him,

"I knew you wouldn't agree to anything those Vortian scum had to say!" Red said.

"Well of course not, My Tallest. Have you heard their demands! They're insane! No offense, but they wouldn't give in to those, not even for Miyuki!" Red shrugged,

"None taken...so who's brilliant plan was this?"

"Mine Sir!" Skoodge saluted happily, "But Tak helped work out some bugs." Tak waved her had modestly. Though secretly hoping for her well-earned recognition. Red looked shocked that the short ugly 'invader' came up with it, and as for Tak, he knew she was smart that was no surprise to him.

"Hm...remind me to evaluate you when we return to Irk." The two Irkens smiled at each other happily. Some of the other Irkens were beginning to become distressed as footfalls could be heard coming dangerously close to the prison ward. Red's antenna perked up

"We better get out of here and fast!" Tak found the key and opened the cell for her leader, bowing as he stepped out. Red stretched, happy to be out of the cramped, dirty cell.

"Come on Sir, we don't have much time." she motioned for Red to go up to the main level, the other Irkens surrounding him for protection. Red followed Tak and Skoodge out of the door and through the hallway still surrounded by the Irkens. When they turned the corner they saw some resisty soldiers on guard duty.

"Halt!" The soldiers said, pointing their shock-sticks at them, "Why is this Irken scum with you Irken scum." Tak stepped forward and huffed,

"Irken scum!" she shrieked, "We are the new recruits from the I.A.I. and the Captain has told us to board this Irken for trade back to the Empire!" The soldiers fumbled,

"Um, s-sorry, well, move along." Red tried not to snicker. The crowed moved back through the halls, once they were alone again, Tak turned to Red,

"I'm sorry if I said anything disrespectful, Sir, we have to make this sound convincing; and I'm sorry if I must say anything treasonous." Red waved it off,

"Well obviously." She smiled and bowed slightly, which proved difficult since she was also walking backwards,

"Thank you, My Tallest." Red smiled back, thinking she was flirting with him,

_'Well I am irresistible!'_ a little voice in his head said. Tak returned to leading the group, a small blush on her cheeks.

_"Oh Irk!"_ she thought, _"Tallest Red just smiled at me! Arg! Focus! Busyness first, long-time crush later."_ Red noticed Tak blushing, and gave a toothy grin,

"_I still got it baby!' _Skoodge noticed Red and Tak flirting and growled inwardly. "We're almost to the docking bay; we need to hurry so we can get the hell out of here." Red raised an 'eyebrow', but shrugged it off. They were stopped at least three more times by guards, and every time went just the same: they'd treat them like shit, Tak would yell, Red would get turned on and the guards would let them pass. Then, finally, they got to the docking bay.

"Sir," Tak said, "Some of us are going to stay behind to kill and capture some of these treasonous Resisty bastards!"

"Alright I guess I'll go to Earth, and get Purple then we'll head back to the Massive!" They all saluted as Red flew off.

- - - -

**Keri: ZEH CHAPTER! IT ES OVER /jigs/**

**Techno: wait! Let's go back to Suri and Lard Nar, and then itz over**

**Keri: -NEVER-**

**Techno: Oo...o...k**

**Keri: rotfl XD**


	6. Chapter 6

**Keri: Almost done!**

**BTW:** Techno's Dib and I'm Red and we kind-a kept switching between Membrane. And also, it's the same day as chapter five :0

**Note:** This was gonna be the last chapter, but it ended up being at 16 pages (and it wasn't done yet) so we just cut it off. So one more to go XD sorry!

- - - -

Red's Voot Runner landed much neater on the lawn than Purple's had. He opened the door of Zim's base only to find it dark, and empty. He looked around,

"Hello?" he called. The computer buzzed,

"They're not here."

"I can see that. Do you know where they're at?"

"They were at the Dib-human's yesterday, maybe they're there today."

"Could you tell me where the human lives?" the computer dropped a small map from the ceiling to Red. The crimson Tallest was about to exit when the computer buzzed again,

"Hold on Sir! You need a disguise!" there was a flash of white light and Red was dressed in a red, sleeveless shirt and black pants and shoes. He had grey, fingerless arm warmers that were cut off at the elbow with a red band around the center. He had black hair with red highlights,

"Thanks computer."

Dib sat in his room, huddled in a corner crying, slicing his wrists over and over. He sniffed, glancing at his bed; the emergency rope under it was looking very friendly right now. He was about to get it when he heard the door-bell ring. Dib contemplated just ignoring the door, and getting the rope, but he thought

_'Well I might as well see someone before I die, even if it is another salesperson.'_ So Dib walked downstairs not even bothering to covers his arms. He opened the door slightly. Red looked down at the boy,

"Um hi, is Zim here?" Dib glared,

"No he's with the Tallest-whore." Red growled, maneuvering so that he was inside, pressing Dib against a wall,

"DON'T YOU EVER CALL PURPLE A WHORE!" Dib's eyes widened in shock while Red pressed him against the wall.

"T-Tallest Red?" Dib asked confused. Red lowered him,

"Yeah, so?" Red blinked down at Dib's bleeding wrists, "You're hurt." Dib raised an eyebrow,

"Yeah...it's no big deal." Red let go of Dib's shirt and looked at his injuries more closely, "You're hurt bad; you have to get these fixed up before you bleed to death."

"Um...that's basically the point, but yeah thanks for noticing." Dib said curious to see why Tallest Red would even care. Red cocked an 'eyebrow',

"Why would you want to die?"

"Because life sucks" Dib said with malice, remembering how hurt he still was from Zim's rejection.

"Oh yeah? What's so bad about life?" Red crossed his arms. Dib lowered his eyes as he felt them tearing up.

"Because my family hates me, everyone thinks I'm crazy, and the only guy I love was only using me so he could get laid" Red felt his eyes soften, he didn't know what a 'family' was, but he knew what the rest meant.

"I-its okay." he put a hand on Dib's shoulder, "Here, I'll help you get fixed up." he blinked, "Was Zim the one that hurt you?" Dib looked up surprised,

"Y-yeah it was...w-hy are you helping me...no one EVER cares!" Red growled,

"Don't worry; I'll take care of Zim." Red shrugged at Dib's question, "I dunno. Where's your medical ward?" he asked looking around. Dib was still surprised,

"Um it's upstairs." Red took Dib's upper arm and pulled him up the stairs. Once up them he looked around,

"Now where?"

"Second door to the right." Dib replied as Red pulled him upstairs. Red pulled him into the bathroom and sat him on the toilet as he began looking for band-aids and cleaning supplies,

"I think you're going to just try and kill your self again the second I leave, so you're coming with me."

"Where?" Dib asked confused as Red looked through the cabinets and drawers. Red shrugged as he applied some peroxide onto a rag and dabbed Dib's wounds,

"To find Purple, and then, I dunno, I'll find someone to watch you."

"I really don't need anyone to watch me." Dib flinched as he felt the peroxide sting his wounds.

"Obviously you do." he said switching hands. "I still don't see why you'd get so worked up over Zim. Well, I can see how you might over being called crazy, but I don't know what a "fa-mill-e" is, so I guess I can't help with that..."

"A family is like the people who take care of you, like a mom a dad and sometimes a sibling."

"I think I remember Zim mentioning one of those. Why does your 'family' hate you?"

"Honestly I have no clue why my sister, Gaz, hates me but I think my dad hates me because I'm gay and I don't care much for what he calls 'real' science."

"And your mom-unit?"

"Oh...um she died when I was a little kid…" Red frowned, laying some gauze on the wounds and wrapping an ace bandage around them,

"I'm sorry to hear that." Dib shrugged slightly,

"It's alright it was a long time ago."

"And your father-unit, why does he hate you because you're gay? What's so wrong with it?"

"He's a homophobe, and so are most people around here."

"'Homophobe'?"

"Homosexual phobia." Dib replied.

"Oh!" Red smiled stupidly, "Well it's okay! Who was the one who said it was wrong anyways!" Red finished putting the supplies away and he held the door open for Dib. He smiled,

"Thanks, you know I never thought about it...I guess it part of a religion; but I'm not religious." Red quirked a brow,

"Re-lie-gin?"

"Religion is like something people believe in like a God or many Gods. Well at least I'm pretty sure, like I said before I don't care much for it."

"You mean kind'a like people who believe in The Second Coming of Glaux?" he began walking downstairs. Dib raised an eyebrow,

"Huh?"

"It's a story from along time ago. You wanna hear?"

"Yeah!" Dib replied like an excited child getting ice cream. Red smiled at his enthusiasm,

"Long ago when the universe was nothing more than rocks and stars scattered about the cosmos, four friends were sent from another universe to colonize this one. Their names were Irk, Vort, Meekrob, and Earth. They each took a section of the universe to make their own; Irk took the north, Vort took the east, Meekrob took the west, and Earth took the south. They made their home planets and named them such before creating more and more and more until they reached the center where they built a huge temple that they would use as their conference room. They lived in happiness and peace until Irk began to think that him and his race was superior and began to attack his friends. Vort and Meekrob tried to stop him, while Earth closed off his section from all outsiders. Eventually the other three forgot about him entirely. As their sections began to evolve, his began to de-evolve and then re-evolve into, well, what Earth is today." He waved his hand to emphasize his point, "And the story goes that although Earth had hid from his friends, he was the smartest of them all. So, his blood-line became the smartest of all the other blood-lines. And the people of the universe say that the last member of his blood-line, The Great Glaux, would save them from all the evil in the universe so they can live in peace once more." He smiled, "Stupid story, huh?" Dib cocked his head to the side confused,

"I didn't think it was stupid it's actually really interesting." Red scoffed,

"Of course you would!" Dib raised an eyebrow,

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're planet is supposed to be the holy land! And somewhere on this dirty infested rock is The Great Glaux!" he opened the front door for them, "You know, if you lost the eye-shields, and changed your outfit some, you'd kind'a look like how he's supposed to. But no matter, what's your name anyways, human?" Dib pondered what red said for a second before replying.

"Dib." Red whipped around,

"So you're in infamous Dib-human I've been hearing so much about! Well congratulations on keeping Zim here and out of the Empire's antenna!" he proceeded to shake Dib's hand roughly.

"What do you mean 'keeping' Zim here?" Dib asked while Red shook his hand. Red smiled,

"Keeping him busy, of course! We honestly thought he might NEVER come back! So thank you, Dib-human, in assisting GREATLY in Impeding Doom II! I'll make sure to send you a metal!" Dib eyes widened,

"So you mean Zim really isn't here to enslave mankind?" Red laughed, oh how he laughed,

"Zim haha and invader! Hahaha! N-no, we just told him that to keep him busy! We didn't even think there was really a planet here!" Dib suddenly felt bad for Zim...for a little while before remembering what the 'invader' did to him.

"If you don't want him then why don't you just tell him the truth; that is if you get him to actually pay attention for once." Red stopped laughing,

"Trust me human, we've tried. We've been trying his whole life. WE just told him to come here so he'd stop bugging us. We tried for a good five minutes before hand to just try to talk him back into going back to Foodcourtia." Dib started laughing,

"Yeah I can imagine." Red smiled,

"I'm glad you agree, Now let's go get Pur so we can get the fuck off this planet, maybe Zim'll stay." he said hopefully.

"Oh," Dib said sadly not really wanting Red to leave for some reason.

"What wrong, Dib-human?" Dib blushed,

"It's just, I didn't really want you to leave." Red smiled,

_'Fuck yeah, still got it!'_ he put an arm around Dib's shoulders,

"You know, they don't call it 'The Massive' for no reason. You wanna come?" Red smirked at the blush,

_'Man, I am SO good.'_

"Yes!"

"Great! You know, it's been awhile since I've had an intelligent being to talk to. It's either Pur, who doesn't get anything 'cause he's innocent as a new-born smeet, or all the service drones on the Massive, and they're all ass-kissers!" Dib raised his eyebrows,

"Well if he's going out with Zim i don't know how longer he'll be innocent."

"Yeah, poor bastard." they began walking down the street when Red realized, he had no idea where he was going, "Hey Dib-human, you wouldn't happen to know where they are, would you?"

"Not really, but last time I saw them Zim was running after Purple who has going that way." Dib pionted with his thumb to the right. Red turned,

"Well then, we should be going that way, shouldn't we!"

"Yep," Red pouted as he looked at Dib,

"Hey, where'd that cute bush go!"

"I don't know it's not like it stays there forever." Dib felt himself blushing again when Red said cute.

_'Damn'_ he thought. Red smiled and poked Dib's cheek,

"Hey! There it is!" Dib blushed a darker shade of red.

"Oooh, how bright does it get!" he kept poking Dib.

"Can you stop please!" Dib said resisting the urge to swat his hand away. Red pouted and put his hand in his pocket. He noticed that his arm was still over Dib's shoulder, and he pulled that back too,

"Sorry," he mumbled, "It's just it's rare to see Irkens blush and...you know..."

"It's ok really..." Dib replied, sad that Red took his hand of his shoulder. Red cocked an 'eyebrow',

"But you just told me to stop. If it was okay then why would you have told me that?" Dib shrugged,

"I don't know."

"Your blushing again. Do humans do that often?"

"Some humans blush easier than others; and, I guess, it depends how they're feeling." Red looked Dib up and down, licking his lip-less mouth,

"Well, what are _you_ feeling, Dib-human?" Dib's eyes widened (they seem to be doing that allot).

"Um...well I...uh" Dib couldn't finish or even form a coherent sentence, and licked his lips nervously as he noticed the way Red stared at him. Red moved closer,

"Try words and syllables." Dib noticed Red move closer, and started backing up into an ally, almost losing his balance. Red noticed Dib backing up and moved closer,

"What wrong human?" Dib racked his brains for anything that sounded human, momentarily forgetting the English language. so he said the first thing that came to mind

"N-nothing."

"Then why're you backing up, hm?" Dib was just too tempting. Dib, still backing up, finally lost his footing and nearly fell backwards. Red caught Dib before he fell, holding the human up to his chest,

"Saved your life." Dib raised an eyebrow,

"what are you talking about?"Red let Dib stand on his own, pointing to numerous broken and un-broken bottles that would've "cushioned" his fall. Dib's eyes widened in surprise,

"Wow...that would've left a mark, thanks." Red smiled,

"So do I get a wish?" Dib looked suspicious,

"Yeah...what kind of wish?" Red smiled,

"How 'bout the kind in the 'kiss' variety?" Dib raised his eyebrows,

"Maybe... let me think." Dib joked. Red pouted, taking the joke seriously,

"Pweeeaaase!"

"I was kidding." Dib said laughing. Red blinked,

"'Kidding'? You mean you were joking? I don't know what jokes have to do with children!" Dib could've sweat dropped if had been anime,

"You're veering of topic." Db said. Red began acting like a Zim-style-idiot,

"You're the one off topic! You went from kissing to children!" Dib rolled his eyes,

"Kidding is an expression here on Earth that means joking it has nothing to do with kids...you starting to act like Zim." Dib pondered. Red stopped his arm-flailing,

"Oh, well you could've just said so. So do I get a kiss or what?" Dib smiled,

"Why not?" Red leaned close to Dib,

"Now no cheating, I want a big kiss, no little peck." Dib felt himself blush a little more, and nodded. Red leaned close and kissed Dib deeply, slipping his tongue between Dib's lips. Red pulled Dib closer, wrapping his tongue around Dib's and squeezing his bum. Dib squeaked as he felt Red squeeze his bum, and leaned closer to him. Red slipped the tips of his fingers down Dib's pants, licks each of his teeth. Dib moaned deeper, and wrapped his arms around Red's neck. Red parted their lips, licking his nose.

"Rawr." he said seductively. Dib couldn't help but giggle while he panting from the kiss. Red stroked his fingers up and down Dib's side. Dib sighed as he lay his head down on Red's shoulder. Red nipped at Dib's ear playfully,

"Can I have another?" Dib closed his eyes smiling,

"Yes." Red sighed happily, sucking below his jaw bone and laying small kisses down his neck and across his shoulder. Dib leaned his head to the side so Red could have more room to work, sighing happily. Red pulled Dib's collar, exposing more flesh, his hands slipping up Dib's shirt. Dib somehow managed to grab Red's antenna from under the wig, and took it off gently started nipping and sucking on the long black stock. Red moaned, feeling his erection press painfully against his pants. He pulled away from Dib, panting,

"N-Not here. Let's go find a hotel or go back to your place or something." Dib pouted slightly,

"L-lets go to my house," he panted, "it's the closest." Red threw his wig back on, grabbing Dib's arm - trying to be careful of his wrist - and pulled him back the way they came. Dib ran behind Red as he dragged him back to his house, his shirt still kind of hanging of on the shoulder. AND THEN TWO INSANE GIRLS TACKLE AND RAPE THEM!

THE END

**(Keri and Techno: JOKEING! XD)**

Red burst in the door and sprinted up the stairs. He let Dib run in before he slammed the door shut, leaning against it. He eyed Dib seductively, slowly peeling off his wig and contacts. Dib smiled slightly as he went to lay down on the bed on his side displaying himself making sure his uncovered shoulder could be seen. Red's tongue lolled out,

"Rawr," he said again before tackling him. He pushed Dib roughly onto his back, kissing him once more. Dib's hands found his way up Red's shirt, and moved his hands against his side while moaning into the kiss. Red grabbed the bottom of Dib's shirt, breaking the kiss to pull it up and toss it to the side. His antenna perked questioningly at the little bums and small hole on Dib's torso. While Red was looking at his chest Dib lifted Red's shirt, taking it off also tossing it to the floor. Dib looked up at Red confused.

"What's wrong?"

"What're these?" he pinched one of Dib's nipples, "And this?" he poked Dib's belly-button. Dib squeaked arching his back as he felt Red pinching his nipples, and also giggled when Red poked his belly button. Red noticed this and nipped the other nipple. Dib let out another long moan as Red bit his other nipple. Red began to suck on it, using one hand to roll the aroused bud in-between two fingers. Dib clutched the sheets tightly while Red continued to play with his nipples.

"Oh R-Red!" he moaned. Red smirked, letting go of them to - once again - capture Dib's lips. Dib's hands moved slowly to Red's pants undoing the zipper. Red sat up, seeing the hand on his pants,

"Heh, eager are we?" Dib blushed slightly while slowly undoing the zipper. Red smiled and began to remove Dib's pants. Once those were disposed of, he removed his own and climbed back on Dib. He kissed his collar bone lightly,

"Are you sure this isn't too soon after what Zim did to you?" Dib's looked surprised for a moment,

"I'm sure." He then kissed Red's collar bone.

"As long as you're sure. " he grabbed Dib's erection, pumping it gently, "Hey baby, you got any lube?" Dib gasped as Red pumped his erection; he moved his right hand to open the drawer, and pulled out the lube. Red grinned, taking it and placing it next to them. He leaned down and kissed Dib's head. Dib moved his hands to Red's erection, and started to pump it. Red moaned, accidentally gripping Dib's erection too hard. Dib yelped as he felt his erection being squeezed to hard, but managed not to accidentally grip Red's to hard as well, and just grabbed the sheets tightly. "Sorry, sorry." he mumbled, kissing Dib lightly in-between words, stroking his dick gently. Dib panted slightly

"I-t's ok" he said kissing him lightly on the lips. Red smiled, licks Dib's lips,

"Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

"Positive" Dib used his other free hand to play with Red's antenna, loving the long stocks. Red purred happily before pulling away to apply some lube to his fingers and Dib's opening. Dib arched his back moaning as he felt the cold lube in his opening. Red slid his fingers in, stroking the inside of Dib's ass; probing as deep as he could until he hit Dib's prostate. Dib howled with pleasure,

"Oh my G-God Red!" he cried out. Red removed his fingers and replaced them with his tongue, slurping Dib's insides like candy...yum. Dib whimpered in pleasure as he felt Red's tongue inside his opening, he still played with Red's antenna occasionally pinching the tip slightly. Red's short attention span soon grew tried of this, and new Dib's moaning was gonna cause him to cum before he even got in him. He sat up and bit Dib's ear,

"You ready?"

"Y-yeah," Dib replied as he wrapped his arms around red's shoulders, placing a gently kiss on his lips. Red kissed Dib back before sitting up and lubing up his penis and re-lubing Dib. He settled himself in-between Dib's legs, leaning over him and pecking him on the nose. Dib waited somewhat impatient, dying to feel Red inside him. Red pressed in slowly, stopping half way. He was bigger than Dib by a good half inch around and didn't want to hurt the poor kid. Dib groaned as he felt Red slip into him halfway, but quickly adjusted to the size, and moaned for Red to go on. Red grunted as he pulled out some and thrusted all the way in, now wanting to see how much Dib could take. Dib's toes curled as he felt Red thrust into him all the way; he was now moaning and writhing. Red pulled out almost all the way before slamming in all the way to the hilt. **(Fun Fact: Techno has waffles! -emos everywhere- But she also has a headache /pets/)** Dib had to use all of his energy not to scream at the top of his lungs as Red slammed into him, as he clawed at Red's back, though trying not to hurt him. Red pouted as he saw how much that'd hurt Dib,

"S-sorry, I ju-just needed to see h-how much you could take..." he panted.

"S-stop apologizing," Dib panted "I can handle it!" Dib said offering a weak smile.

"A-are yo sure," he said beginning to thrust slowly.

"Yes," Dib replied kissing Red.

"Okay," he kissed Dib back, "but tell me when it starts to hurt; okay?" he sped up, being more gentle, now wanted nothing more than to pleaser them both.

"I promise." Dib moaned, his hands still playing with Red's antenna, he grabbed one and managed to bring it to his mouth; licking the tip. Red moaned, picking of the pace until he found a decent rhythm. He began to pant and sweat as Dib played with his antenna. Dib was panting and moaning loudly as he felt Red thrust into him. It was one of the best feelings Dib had ever experienced. Red moaned lowly, continuing to thrust as deep as he could. Dib brought his lips to Red's and slipped his tongue inside, while Red moaned, his tongue exploring every inch. Red was more than happy to allow the human to explore his AMAZING mouth-hole, wanting to attack his fleshy-blob of a tongue once more. Dib battled for dominance while his tongue wrapped around Red's thin, flexibly long one. Red easily maneuvered out of Dib's attack, wrapping around it like a snake would a mouse. Dib smiled between the kiss, as he felt himself lose control, and Red trapped his tongue like prey. Red smiled into the kiss, pulling back to look into Dib's alien eyes. They were strange indeed. White orbs with little golden circles in the center what followed you around the room. And the black dots in the center of those that made your feel like you were being read like a book. It was uncomfortable, strange, and yet Red loved them. Dib looked into Red's eyes, equally entranced. It was like gazing into pools of blood Red, only having a white orb to show that it wasn't just blank, and actually showed emotion. Dib felt like he was being hypnotized, and felt like looking away, but he knew he couldn't. It was as if the alien eyes held some mystic power that no mortal human like Dib could ever hope to break free from. Red smiled, kissing Dib lightly, returning to the task at hand by thrusting quite hard, just to remind Dib what they were doing.

**- MEANWHILE-**

Membrane came up from his lab and heard a pained squeak come from Dib's room. He made his way up the stairs and pressed his ear against the door,

"Am I better than Zim?" he heard. The voice was unfamiliar to him, and sounded much older than Dib. Even though Membrane couldn't see, Dib smiled,

"Much better." he purred. Red's smirk was also hidden behind the door,

"Good 'cause I-" he sighed, "-I think I love you..." Db eyes widened in absolute shock, but he was overjoyed. He had started to love Red after he met him when Zim got taken to Foodcourtia when they were still kids, and that probably another reason Dib loved Zim. It was because Zim Reminded Dib of a smaller version of Red believe it or not.

"I-i love you too" Dib felt like crying as he said that, all the feelings of fear he had of rejection where gone in 5 seconds with those three words. Membrane's eyes widened, Dib was in love with someone he didn't know. That was it. He opened the door and immediately wished he hadn't. There was Dib, naked under someone - who at first glance looked like Zim- that mast much taller, obviously older, and down right in-human. He backed up; his son - Dib Membrane - wasn't just gay; he was gay with an alien. Dib quickly looked to see who had opened the door, already having a pretty good guess, but nonetheless hoping it was just a very fierce wind; but luck wasn't with Dib as it turned out to be none other than Professor Membrane. Dib wanted to faint right there and then, and could feel his heart stop beating. Red glanced at the door and saw an older version of Dib string at him, he perked an antenna,

"And you would be..." Membrane stared in shock, speechless at the sight, then narrowed his eyes at the gall the alien had to ask him that as if what he and his insane son were doing was 'normal'.

"I am Dib's FATHER, Savior of the Earth, Professor Membrane!" Membrane said very annoyed. Red eyed him,

"Unimpressive." Dib just laid there with Red on top of him not sure whether to run for dear life, or pretend to be invisible because both sounded like great options. So he just made himself as small as possible. Red got up and looked Membrane up and down once more, not bothering to cover his self,

"May I also ask what you're doing bursting into your son's bed room with out knocking first?" Membrane glared deeper, probably even more upset than when he walked in.

"It may be his room but it's MY house. Red quirked an eyebrow,

"Well if you don't mind, I'm really not finished." he turned back to Dib, positioning to enter him again. Membrane growled,

"Yes I do mind." he turned to Dib, "You get away from him right now!" Dib didn't move; the only sign of movement was clutching Red tighter. To say Dib wasn't afraid of Membrane, would be like saying that monkey's don't remind you of President Bush. **(Keri and Techno: sorry if this offends you, we're Republican, but it was still funny!)** Membrane never hit Dib, but it was never too late to start.

**(Keri: Domino has no teef ):**

**Techno: Really? No fangs?**

**Keri: He's a constricting snake, but even those have some form of teef…**

**Techno: Aww lol!)**

Red felt Dib hold him tightly, he sat up, pressing Dib to his side, glaring at Membrane,

"He can do as he damn well pleases." his antenna lowered so they were flat on his head. Membrane approached the bed,

"Dib, get over here this instant!" Dib tried his hardest not to flinch, but he felt himself shaking as he glared.

"No," Red felt himself internally sigh, smiling in his head. He held Dib closer as Membrane stared daggers into both of them,

"Dib, he's got some kind of mind-control on you, you need to get away from him." Dib shook his head, still not used to the thought of defying the man that had verbally abused him throughout his life. Red smirked,

"Looks like he's picked me over you." Membrane growled, shaking with rage,

"I don't know what kind of horrible, alien things you've done to him, but you're going to regret it!" Dib looked scared for a moment fearing Membrane's words, but instantly shrugged them off replacing his look of fear with defiance. He did not care anymore what his dad said to him; he could no longer push him around. Red stood up, forcing Dib to release him.

"If you so much as touch him, I will kill you. Slowly and painfully. With tang. THAT DAMN TANG!" he took a deep breath, regaining himself. Dib felt Red pry his arms from his death grip on him, and raised an eyebrow before smiling at Red's choice in a murder weapon. Red poked Membrane in the chest, standing a good forehead taller than him, not even caring that he was completely naked,

"But I'm not going to give you the chance to hurt him! I'm taking him home with me." Red backed off some, "Did you know the Dib-human was suicidal?" Membrane looked at his son questioning. Dib refused to look anyone in the eye finding the sheets very interesting. Membrane's expression faltered,

"Dib...is this true?" Dib still refused to look up,

"Y-yeah," he replied feeling the tears coming. He didn't know why he was crying, he just was. Membrane felt his eyes soften, momentarily forgetting his impending death,

"Why?"

"B-because everyone hates me...especially Gaz...and y-you." Dib's tears were falling freely now, and he saw them leaving wet drops on the dark blue sheets. Membrane wanted to say that he didn't hate him, just...what did he feel about Dib? Red would've wrinkled his nose in disgust, had he had one.

"You humans not only confuse me, but make me sick. How Zim could put up with you for so long is beyond me. I just wanna find Purple and get out of here so I can destroy it." Dib looked hurt for a moment,

"Red...do I make you sick?" Dib asked thinking he meant him also when he said 'you humans'. Red looked at him,

"Oh no, baby, not you! You're far to smart AND pretty to be considered human. Why, you're almost Irken! Now let's get the fuck out'a here. We can finish up on The Massive!" Dib grinned from ear to ear. He quickly got off the bed tossing Red his clothes, and putting on his own as fast as possible.

"HOLD IT!" Membrane yelled as Red was pulling his shirt back on, "Dib's not going anywhere! And what authority do you have to destroy this planet, eh? Shouldn't you have to talk to your leaders about that?" Red smirked as he put his arm around Dib's shoulders,

"I am, my leader." and with that they walked out. Red smiled, nuzzling his face in Dib's hair. He set his disguise back in place before holding the door open for him,

"Now then, let's go find Pur."


	7. Chapter 7

Keri: AND HERE IT IS! THE LAST CHAPTER!

BTW: Techno's Dib and Zim and Gir and I'm Red and Pur and the one known as Mini-Moose. And also, it's the same day as chapter six :0

- - - -

Purple giggled, cuddling into Zim's chest,

"I love you." Zim chuckled, kissing Purple's head,

"I love you too." Purple sighed happily before,

"Pur! There you are!" He sat up and saw Red and Dib walking towards them. He jumped up and hugged his fellow Tallest.

"Red! You're okay! What'd those horrible creatures do to you!"

"Of course I'm okay, all they did was keep me locked in a cell. No biggy." Zim smiled as he looked at Purple's joy when Red showed up. He looked over at the Dib-Human, and raised an 'eyebrow' when he noticed his bandaged wrists.

"What happened to your wrists?" Zim asked curiously. Dib blushed slightly,

"Oh…um Red bandaged them..." Zim once more raised his 'eyebrow' as Dib blushed, already guessing what happened between the two. Red smiled, wanting to push the two's awkward conversation further,

"I don't believe that answered his question Dib-love." Purple giggled, hugging Red tightly, happy to have his silly best-friend back. Dib blushed further as he heard Zim snicker.

"Yes it does." Dib replied pouting slightly still blushing. Zim tried to hold back his laughter, but failed horribly ending up falling from his sitting position in laughter on the floor. Red sniggered,

"I think he wants to know why they're bandaged in the first place." he knew this was horrible uncomfortable for Dib, but he just loved that blush. And Purple just stood there, cute and clueless. Zim for an instant felt like getting Dib out of the situation by saying he already knew, but thought better of it ands just waited expectedly smirking the whole time. Dib tried to glare only making him look cuter, blushing and pouting. He then crossed his arms.

"He knows." Dib muttered

"Aw c'mon Dib!" Red said, "Don't make him sad because you think he knows everything." Zim pionted he finger in the air as he jumped up and yelled so loud the whole neighborhood heard him.

"ZIM KNOWS ALL!" Dib just shook his head in mock exasperation. Red laughed, oh how the Irken Tallest had laughed. He laughed one of those laughs that make everyone nervous and then they have to laugh along just to be safe. Purple just giggled. 'Cause, well, that's what Purple does. Yup. Zim crossed his arms,

"Zim sees nothing funny!" Dib looked from Red to Zim a few times before also bursting out laughing. Red's laughter died a little.

"_You're_ funny Zim." Purple pouted, running up to cuddle Zim,

"That's not nice Red!" Red rolled his false-eyes and hugged Dib from the back, resting his head atop Dib's. Dib giggled slightly at the scene, and sighed happily for the hundredth time that day, for once completely content with what life had to offer. Zim smiled sticking his tongue out slightly while Purple hugged him looking like a cute kitty. Red nipped at Dib's ear,

"Can we go now? Dib and I have to finish a, heh, little project." Dib blushed, and held back a giggle as Red nipped his ear. Zim raised an eyebrow,

_'I think that he and the human deserve each other.'_ Zim thought as he cuddled with Purple. Purple made giant anime-style teary eyes,

"What about Gir! And Mini-Moose! We can't leave with out them!" Red groaned,

"Do we haaave tooo!" Suddenly, out of nowhere, a speeding sports car stopped besides the happy couple, and the doors opened revealing GIR and Mini-Moose behind him being waved goodbye at by several pretty female Earth humans. Purple squealed, trapping them both in a tight hug, his tongue sticking out cutely.

"BYE LADIES!" Gir screeched as they drove out of sight. He then looked over at the two couples as Purple hugged him "Theys ma bitches!" he screeched happily.

**(Keri: omg rotfl**

**Techno: ROTFL HAD TOO DO IT!**

**Keri/dies of laughter/ A BAZILLION POINTS TO TECHNO**

**Techno: THANK YOU THANK YOU'RE TO KIND!)**

Zim smacked his forehead in exasperation, while the Dib human looked amused and surprised at the same time.

"Who knew Gir could be a player?" Dib questioned out loud. Gir then got out of Purples hug and ran over to Dib bitch slapping him across the face

"It's 'playa' white ass bitchin' cracker!" Dib just stared shocked holding his throbbing cheek. hey you would be in pain to if you got hit my metal! Red's eyes widened, then he got angry. He attacked the little SIR unit, ripping it's arms off,

"DON'T YOU EVER HIT DIB YOU HEAR ME!" Zim also looked surprised before rolling on the floor in laughter.

"G-good jog Gir!" he said while tears of laughter formed in his eyes. Dib eyes widened,

"Don't hurt him Red, I'm sure he just doesn't understand!" Red turned on Zim and he kicked the smaller Irken in the chest. Gir started sobbing and screaming,

"AAAAAAAAAA MY ARMS WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT ME ARMS!" then giggled as they reconnected to his body. Red,

"WELL HIS MASTER SHOULD'VE STOPPED HIM!" He kicked Zim again. Zim clutched his gut in pain as Red kicked him full force. His tears of laughter were now tears of pain. Dib felt bad about this even if it wasn't his fault,

"Red Gir doesn't listen to anyone! much less Zim! please stop kicking him!" Dib pleaded. Purple shrieked, running over and grabbing Red,

"R-Red! Stop, please stop!" he cried. Red's eyes softened and he pet Purple,

"It's okay, I'm done. Don't worry about Gir, Dib. Zim, I just don't like Zim." Zim got up slowly clutching his stomach glaring at nothing in particular. Red turned to Zim once more,

"Control your SIR unit, 'invader'." Zim saluted weakly,

"Yes s-sir." Red nodded,

"Now let's go home, please." Purple smiled, clutching the giggly robot and the confused moose happily. Dib smiled as he went to over to Red. Zim finally recovered enough to wrap an arm around Purples waist and managing to stand up straight. Red pulled a communicator out of his PAK,

"Fleet Commander Rod, are you there." there was some static before,

"Sir yes sir! The Armada is above the atmosphere as we speak."

"Good, good, beam us up and let's blow this planet to hell."

"Yes Sir!" Purple kissed the top of Zim's head, nuzzling his face in Zim's wig before handing him the squirming robot. Zim smirked, finally the destruction of earth! his only regret was he wasn't the one to do it, but oh well Zim thought as he grabbed the struggling SIR unit. Gir struggled and cried in Zim's arms.

"BUT MA HOES THEY NEED MEEEEEEE!" he screeched. Dib clutched his ears as he head Gir scream,

"Wow he's got vocals." Dib muttered. Purple turned to Red and whispered something. Red nodded and they were beamed aboard The Massive. Zim also flinched as he felt his antenna twitch in pain. Dib looked curiously at Red wondering what they were whispering about, but shrugged it off.

As they stepped into the control room, dozens of Irkens circled the six of them. One girl with green eyes - who was about as short as Zim had first been - pushed passed them.

"My Tallest! My tallest you're alright! I was so worried when Tak and Skoodge came back with out you!" Dib and Zim just stared as Red and Purple were being crowded, and asked questions. Red raised a hand, they all went quiet.

"We shall perform the Final Cannon Sweep in exactly two hours. Be ready." and with that, he took Dib and led him away. Dib followed Red, leaving the others to deal with the onslaught of questions. Red pulled him onto the third floor, opening the sixth door on the left. The room looked like a human sitting room, on the left was a door that led to a large, marble bathroom, and on the right was a large library. Red kept walking until they came to another door. He opened it and stepped into a large bedroom, is was adorned in red, maroon, gold, and black. There was a double-king sized, circular bed, on each side was a small table. across from that was a large fireplace with two sitting chairs on either side of it, a large rug in between them. And most impressive of all, was a large, beautiful portrait of Tallest Red himself. dib opened his mouth agape, then quickly closed it. he turned to Red,

"Wow...you look hot-ER" he said uncharacteristically. Red smirked, then licked his lips. He didn't bother turning on a light, he just walked over to the fireplace, lit a match-type-object, and threw it in. He turned to Dib,

"Do something sexy."

**(Keri: Had to switch parts here XD sorry.)**

"Um, l-like what?" he said blushing, sitting on the edge of the bed as Red leaned against the wall, staring at him expectedly. Red smirked,

"Hm...surprise me." Dib blushed, thinking for a second,

"H-how 'bout I-" he pulled his collar over his shoulder, still blushing madly. Red crossed his arms,

"Don't TELL me...show me!" he said still smirking as he went to go sit on one of the big plush chairs, after pushing it around so it was facing Dib. He pulled his collar back over his shoulder, teasing Red with the flesh he so loved to suck on. Red used all his will power trying not to pounce on the human and fuck him right there and then, ignoring the growing bulge in his pants he licked his lips.

_'Oh Irk for a beginner he's good at this.'_ Red thought. Dib noticed the new size in-between Red's legs and smirked inwardly. He uncovered his shoulder again, this time licking his own skin. He eyed Red seductively out of the corner of his eye. Red drummed his fingers against the armrest of the chair, while he observed Dib, and growing more impatient every second that passed by. Dib took Red drumming his fingers as a sign of boredom and pouted slightly. He stripped off his own shirt, slowly and - what he hopped- sexily. Red groaned, if the Dib human got any sexier he would lose all self-control so he drummed his fingers faster as he looked at the human's full lips as he pouted wishing to capture and claim them. Dib groaned and crossed his arms, huddling into a ball, blushing lightly. Red raised an 'eyebrow',

"What's wrong Dib?" he asked concerned. He 'huffed',

"I'm boring you!" Red resisted the urge to laugh,

"What makes you think that?" Dib looked at him, almost about to cry,

"You keep drumming your fingers. I don't know what it means for Irkens, but with humans, you do that when you're bored or impatient!" Red released one of his spider-legs, and pushed the human on to his lap,

"Impatient to make sweet love to you yes, bored...never" he whispered licking Dib's ear "sorry i never got a chance to mention before but I drum my fingers when I'm trying to maintain self-control, and with you looking deviously sexy it's quit hard." Dib blushed, then smiled. He hugged Red tightly,

"You're such a dork." he giggled.

"Dork?" Red questioned hugging Dib back.

"It's hard to explain, normally it's an insult, but right now I'm just using it to call you silly." he kissed Red lightly. Red pouted,

"I guess I'll let it slide." He said jokingly before deepening the kiss, and slipping his tongue around Dib's. Dib moaned deeply into the kiss, clawing at Red's clothes, trying to tear them off. He hooked his legs around Red's waist, grinding their hips together. Red moaned while they grinned there hips, managing to skillfully maneuver his hand so it lowered Dib's zipper so he could slip in his hand to firmly grip Dib's member. Dib gasped, pulling away from the kiss,

"O-oh Red..." he moaned, pressing into his hand. Red smirked as Dib moaned his name; yes he liked it very much. With his other hand he undid the button to Dib's pants to give him more room to work, and started giving Dib a hand job.

**(Keri: re-changed /cuddles Red/)**

Dib arched his back, and moaned deeply his eye half closed in bliss.

"R-Red" He said moaning as he moved his hands to play with Red's antenna. Red picked Dib up and threw him on the bed, jumping on top of him. He sat up and stripped his shirt and pants, then removed Dib's. He lay down on top of Dib, moaning as he squeezed their erections together. Dib gasped, lifting his hips up moaning in pleasure.

"S-say my name, Dib!" Red moaned in Dib's ear. Dib all too happily complied,

"O-oh Red!" he moaned; his hands moving up to the antenna he loved to play with. Red made a sound that sounded half way between a purr and a sigh. He slid Dib up to the head of the bed and kissed his neck and shoulder,

"I-I don't have any lube, sorry."

"It's ok I can handle it."

"Are you sure?" he opened Dib's legs and got into position. He smiled,

"Yes." Red was about to work his way in, when he got an idea. He opened Dib's legs as wide as he could and proceeded to lick Dib's opening. Dib's mouth opened in a silent scream as he writhed and moaned loudly clutching the sheets, in pleasure. Red slipped his tongue in side, wiggling it around and doing all sorts of things that if we told you and your parents were to see this they'd ground you forever so we're not even going to go into that much detail, right Techno? You got it Keri, sorry kiddies!

**(Keri: Go read some K plus fan fanfics for Pete's Sake!**

**Techno: We have parents to worry about catching us in this unholy yet sexeh act of writing this.**

**Keri: Actually, mine are asleep!**

**Techno: Mine too; but they're light sleepers.**

**Keri: Mine too, and my mom is across the hall w/ her door open D:**

**Techno: In fact they've been asleep this whole time we've been RPing, damn; mines are on the other side of the house with two doors closed; mine and theirs.**

**Keri: You know all this is going in the fic, right?**

**Techno: Duh, lol!**

**Keri: Rotfl!**

**Techno: wut kinda fool do you think i am!**

**Keri: see kids, we give you this instead of what you want!**

**Techno: yep cuz we're evil vile CENSORED sorry kiddies**

**Keri: go buy some porn you pervs rotfl!**

**Techno: and give me some pwease! for da perverts! Lmao**

**Keri: Back to the fic?**

**Techno: maybe...if the readers buy me yaoi!**

**Keri: hey, I drew demon-Zim and Takat-chibi w/ a gopher on his head**

**Techno: lol jk ppl back to the fic gallops into sunset and fall of horse ouch Damnit not again; awwwww! i must see wen u post**

**Keri: should we start back up after the sex or right after they're done w/ the tongues?**

**Techno: huh? Confused...**

**Keri: after they're done completely or just done with, to be blunt, red's tongue up Dib's ass XD**

**Techno: u mean with our comment?** **or end the chappie?**

**Keri: comments**

**Techno: as soon as tongue goes up his butt hole**

**Keri: but that's what we're in the middle of censoring**

**Techno: wtf! I'm still confused head explodes**

**Keri: n/m**

**Techno: ok works for me lol**

**Keri: you see what I have to work w/ ppl!**

**Techno: hehe I'm blonde! AND PROUD! BLONDES UNITE!**

**Keri: ah, nothing better that a brunette and blonde RP; YAOI RP, excuse me**

**Techno: spleeeeeeeeeeeeeee! yes scuse her brunetteness XD** **j/k buddy**

**Keri: lol, BACK TO THE FIC DAMN IT!**

**Techno: oh yeah...I get distracted easily XP)**

Red lay back on top of Dib, sliding his hardened cock into Dib's freshly wet opening. Dib grunted as he felt Red's massive **(Techno: hehe)** erection slip in his opening, but soon got used to the length.

**(Techno: get it!**

**Keri: YES!)**

Red grunted, looking at the clock; they only had a half hour left.

"Damn," he mumbled against Dib's ear.

"W-what?" Dib panted.

"We only have a half hour left. I'm gonna need to hurry, baby, sorry if I hurt you. But we're still gonna need to clean up and re-dress. Dib nodded, wrapping his legs around Red. Red nipped at his ear,

"Just think, soon I'll have the only human left in the whole universe. Well, unless some survive, then they'll be used as slaves." Dib chuckled, and once again moved his hand so it was fondling Red's antenna. WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND THOSE BLASTED THINGS! I DON'T KNOW! STOP ASKING ME! Red purred, thrusting deeply and quickly; they just needed to get off before the ceremony started, other wise someone'd walk in on them again. Dib panted, and moaned feeling Red's cock hit his prostate,

"OH RED!" he yelled arching his back. Red slammed as hard as he could, hitting that spot again and again.

"Oooh Diiib..." he groaned, his thrusts now becoming more violent. By now Dib was using all his energy not to scream in pleasure, lest the whole galaxy hear him, and tried not to hurt Red as he clawed at his back.

"Oh…Red I'm going to..." Dib yelled out Red's name as he came. Red moaned,

"Oh yes Dib!" he thrusted a few more times, each one harder and deeper than the last, before he came him self, moaning Dib's name. He collapsed, panting, next to Dib, ushering the boy into his arms. Dib snuggled into Red's arms, panting.

"Wow…" was all he said closing his eyes.

"D-don't fall asleep, can't just yet." all Red wanted to do was stay all snuggled up with Dib, nuzzling his face in the crook of the human's neck. Just happy to have Dib laying on top of him. Dib groaned,

"Then we better get up before we do." Red groaned, looking at the clock,

"Ten minutes 'til the ceremony starts." he sat up and yawned, stretching his back. "I should've told them to wait 'til tomorrow. You know, just gave Zim a Megadoomer and let him have his fun." Dib laughed,

"Yeah, but it's too late now." he sighed getting up. Red used the bed sheet to clean himself free of blood and semen that had clung to him, before putting his Tallest robes and armor on. Dib grabbed his clothes from the floor, and also put them on, evening out the wrinkles. Red laughed as Dib put on his clothes,

"You don't seriously expect to keep those do you!"

"Yes! Well...at least the coat" Dib said raising an eyebrow. Red looked him up and down,

"You can keep the coat, it looks good on you." he opened a panel on the wall and pushed a button. Not more than 30 seconds had passed before a female service drone came in,

"Yes Sir?" he said.

"Ivory, go get Dib some clothes. Not to Irken in style, just, have the girls mess with it some. It needs to be blue, with normal Irken-style pants and boots, but the top needs to be a mix of Irken and whatever style they have on Earth." she bowed.

"Yes Sir." she ran off.

"Well, there you go a brand new uniform."

"Oh cool! Thanks!" Dib hugged his 'precious' trench coat. Red smiled, kissing the top of Dib's head, holding his hips.

"Love you." he said, nuzzling the top of the boy's head. Dib giggled resting his head on Red's chest,

"I've loved you for a long time." Dib sighed happily. Red looked down at him,

"Oh really?" he said playfully, "How long?"

"Hmmm," Dib thought "um...remember that time Zim was taken to Foodcourtia?"

"The first time or the second time?"

"I'm pretty sure it was the second."

"Yeah I remember." he began to rock back and forth as if they were dancing while staying in one place. Red chuckled, spinning them in a circle,

"You were so cute. All small and big headed." he kissed Dib's forehead. Dib pouted slightly,

"My head wasn't THAT big!" Red smirked,

"I liked it." he stroked Dib's sides, "More of you to love." Dib giggled as Red stroked him, trying not to laugh too hard; since his sides were ticklish. Red noticed,

"Ah, a little ticklish are we!" he then began to tickle Dib unmercifully. Dib started laughing hysterically trying to get away from the tickling. He tried to cry out but he couldn't say a word between all the laughing and trying to breathe. Red bit his ear playfully, pushing him back onto the bed,

"Tickle, tickle!" there was a nock at the door, "M-My Tallest?" it was the girl from before; "We're finished." Red turned around, his antenna quirking.

"Very good, bring it in." Dib panted taking in deep breathes looking over at the door. The girls brought in a model that was wearing the outfit. It was like a human short-sleeve shirt, only with an Irken collar. It was blue with one thick black stripe across the chest. One other girl was carrying a pair of black pants and another had a pair of boots.

"Well, Dib, what do you think?" Red said, sitting next to Dib on the bed; the Irken hand-maidens were blushing from the sight they had found them in. Dib stared at the clothing for a while with his mouth half open,

"Wow, they're beautiful." he looked up at Red and kissed his lips softly, "Thank you." The girls gasped and began yelling at Dib in Irken. Red held up a hand before waving them off. The two set the clothes down and, with one last dirty look to Dib, left the room. Dib had had his eyes wide,

"Um..." Red kissed the top of his head,

"Don't mind them. Now get dressed boy." he smacked Dib's ass towards the cloths. Dib squeaked when he felt Red smack his ass. He walked over admiring the clothes before putting them on slowly still pondering what he had done to rile the Irken females. Red licked his lips before walking towards the door. Dib never letting anything go so easily decided to ask Red what had happened after he had finished dressing and looking at himself at the mirror that was nearby.

_'Wow I look pretty good!_' Dib thought. He went over to Red,

"So seriously tell me what I did." Red quirked a 'brow' then smiled,

"Everyone thinks that me and Pur are dating, so they just thought that I was cheating on him or something."

"Well, no offense, you guys look like an obvious couple, and you seem to act like it somewhat." Dib said chuckling. Red grabbed Dib by the waist and pecked his temple, "None taken, love, now let's go get this show on the road!" the walked out of the room, out the hall, and up the elevator to the back of the main conference room. It looked like the back-stage of a stage right before a big play (minus the make up and clothing of course), there were Irkens running around handing out prepared speeches to important people, Irkens with mics yelling out how much time was left before they were to start; there were, however, a few people running around fixing outfits or putting on some Irken-makeup. One Irken with blue eyes ran up and handed Red a stack of note-cards,

"Your speech, Sir."

"No thank you." he waved the cards away. The Irken nodded and ran off as one with purple eyes ran by.

"30 seconds! Places people! Red, to the podium!"

"Well I'll be watching." Dib kissed Red's cheek and started walking towards where the audience goes. Red blew Dib a kiss,

"Alright love, I'll be looking for you!" Purple walked up next to Red,

"Oh Dib! Go stand next to Zim, okay!" Dib nodded going over and spotting Zim in the front row. A monitor flew by with the same announcer guy from Operation Impending Doom II.

"Now then! Wiggle your antennas in salute! And also, as a welcome back to your Almighty Tallest Red!" there was a loud cheer as the curtains were drawn and Red stood at the podium, beaming like an idiot.

"Hi." he said waving at a camera that flew by. He turned to the audience, "Hi." he said again, mostly because he knew that it upset the reporters that were standing directly below. Red cleared his throat. "Now, as most of you know, I've recently been captured by the Resisty. Well, I have returned, thanks to our own Tak, Skoodge, Miz, Tes, and Katto. They will all be re-evaluated after the ceremony! But, before we get to the final cannon sweep, I have an announcement to make." he licked his lip-less mouth, and took a deep breath as the reporters leaned closer. "As most of you know, me and Tallest Purple have been dating for the past several years. Well I'm here to tell you, that that is a load. It's not true at all! We are just best friends! But that is not the announcement I wanted to make. I'm here to say, that I do have a boyfriend." A spot-light shown on Dib, "Hi." Red said again, blowing Dib another kiss. Dib smiled nervously trying not to brush as he waved at the camera. There was some mumbling amongst the crowd,

"But he's not even Irken." one girl next to Dib commented. And, as if Red had heard them, he began again.

"Now, I know what you're thinking, "But he's not even Irken!" well tough! If you don't think he's a suitable mate for me, I don't wanna hear it." he took a deep breath, "Besides, he's the one that kept Zim on Earth so long." the crowds frowns and disapproving mutterings turned into warm smiles and welcoming comments. Dib's nervous smile turned more confident, as he finally got the praise he felt he deserved. He smiled up at Red. Red winked at him,

"I now turn the mic over to Pur." the violet Tallest walked up as Red stood back to let him have his turn.

"Hi." he said smiling and waving at the camera. He turned to the crowd, "Hi." he said again. At least two reporters exploded. "As well as red, I too have an announcement about having a new mate." a spot-light shown on Zim, Purple giggled, "Hi honey!" and anther report's squeedly spootch ruptured. There were gasps and screams and disapproving looks all around the conference hall. Zim smirked giving an air kiss as he waved to the cameras somewhat arrogantly before winking at Purple. Purple giggled again, blushing at the shorter Irken; more disapproving looks.

"And, well, since -hehe- I'm to high on love right now, I think I'll -giggle- turn the mic back over to -hehe- Red." He walked back stage and Red returned to the podium, and, just of comedic purposes, he said "Hi." once more just to injure some more reporters. He grinned stupidly,

"Now then, Zim, would you come up here for the ceremonial Final Cannon Sweep?" Zim grinned manically,

"Why of course my Tallest" Zim walked over to Purple and Red and bowed slightly. The cannon lowered from the ceiling and aimed at the small planet below. Zim's fingers were twitching with excitement that the final destruction of the humans was at his hands. Dib sighed, not as joyous about the festivities as everyone else. He somehow felt guilty. He was USED to be the sole protector of Earth, and he instead of annihilating Zim ended up loving one of his leaders, and somewhat having feelings for the Invader. He tried to think about how much the planets inhabitants hated him, and abused him for so long, but he didn't care about them. They were idiots, and there was no doubt about that; he had figured it out long ago. The only reason he wanted to save the Earth was because in retrospect if you pretend humans don't live there the Earth is a very beautiful place, and it depressed Dib to see such great things like Bigfoot, and the animals being destroyed. After all it held many good memories also, like the ones of his mother. It was she who taught him that the Earth was a great place. When his dad would belittle him about his beliefs his mom would encourage them, But that was the past, and his mom told him before she passed away "to never give up and revel in the past" He was broken out of his thoughts when he heard the cannon firing up. Red was smiling brightly, looking out at the crowd. They were already to leap up and cheer as soon as the deed was done, for this was the last planet (besides the one that belonged to the Resisty) that they had to conquer. But there was one person, one face, that didn't look happy at all. Red's eye softened on Dib; he looked so sad. It was understandable that he'd be angry, like all the other species', but not one of them had ever been sad. There was something different about this creature, or maybe the whole species, something odd. They weren't like everyone else. Red was so wrapped up in thought that he didn't hear the cannon fire, or the cheers of the other Irkens, but he could almost hear the screams of the people below. If Dib tried hard enough, even though scientifically it was impossible, Dib felt like he could also hear the screams of everyone on Earth as they were annihilated. He closed his eyes looking down at the floor willing the tears away as he felt like part of him was being torn to pieces even if it was a bad part of him that was never really ever bright. Suddenly Gir came crashing through the walls causing mayhem and destruction behind him like always screaming "FLYING PIRATE MONKIIEESSSS!" and then latched himself to Zim's head. Red turned to the robot, smiling a little, picking the robot off Zim's head and holding him like a baby; tickling his "tummy" with one finger. Zim hadn't even noticed. Dib looked up, and saw Red tickling Gir's tummy, and smiled slightly. It was a cute sight. It made him think of smeets...and oh god, Dib thought of having kids, and smiled more at the idea, but would Red be up to it? Red cuddled the robot before putting it down. It waddled off, giggling cutely. He glanced at Dib, he saw the boy smiling, and smiled back.

"I love you." he mouthed. Dib grinned wider, and mouthed back,

"I love you too."

"I'm bored. I wish he'd hurry." he mouthed.

"Eh I know, but you know, Zim has to be dramatic." Dib mouthed rolling his eyes. Red chuckled and said quietly, so only Zim could hear,

"Do you mind hurrying, we do have other thing to do, and if you take to long, there won't be enough time for the after-party." Zim pouted at being hurried up, but perked up when he heard after-party. That could only mean one thing...NACHOS! Zim nodded enthusiastically and in less the 2 seconds every inhabitant on Earth was forever dead. Dib sighed in relief now that it was over. Red smiled and walked back up to the podium,

"And now, if you'll make you're way to the Party Room, I do believe there's a thing of nachos calling us." all the Irkens all cheered happily. Well, almost all. A red eyed Irken leaned close to Dib,

"So you and Red are really goin' at it huh?" Dib's eyes widened,

"W-what!"

"You and Red? Do you have a solid relationship? Do I have a shot at you at all? 'Cause I got 100 monies in my pocket right now, that can be in yours if you come hang out in my room during the after-party; if you catch my drift." Dib could've fainted. Sure he admitted he was somewhat of a whore, but he wasn't a prostitute, and would never have sex for money! Dib glared,

"I'm NOT a prostitute!" He puts his hands up,

"Woah, whoa, baby, I never said you were." another male walked up,

"Hmph, 100 monies, this chick's gotta be worth at least 200!" Dib's eye started twitching. Jeez! Did he have a big sign on his head that said 'Do me I take cash not credit!' Dib sighed trying to ignore the male Irkens, and the growing headache. Another couple came up and started fighting. Red walked up behind the four,

"Is there a problem?" he said in a calm voice that sent shivers up their spines.

"No Sir!" they all said before the scattered. Red smirked.

"Thank God! Great timing" Dib sighed in relief wrapping his arms around Red. Red chuckled,

"I would've come sooner, but it was rather funny." Dig glared,

"You jerk I'd like to see how you'd like it!" Dib stuck his tongue out playfully. Red laughed again,

"Careful, or you just might loose this." he grabbed Dib's tongue, "Anyways, I have girls and guys both clinging to my robe all the time."

"Can you let go please?" Dib said as coherently as he could yet still sounding quite funny. Red smirked evilly, the crowd was nearly gone,

"Oh yeah, and what'll I get to hold in return?" Dib pretended to be deep in thought,

"Whatever you want." he said smiling seductively as best he could, considering his tongue was still being held. Red let go,

"Fine. But I get ANYTHING!" Dib sighed happy that his tongue was back inside his mouth...but for how long? Red smiled, pulling Dib close. He chuckled as he looked up and saw Zim and Purple on the floor of the stage making out. Dib looked up also, and chuckled glad that he and Zim had finally found those special some ones in their lives, as he rested his head on Red's chest. Red began to sway back and forth again,

"Let's go back to my room...heh, our room, now I guess." Dib smirked kissing Red's lips. Red took Dib's hand and led him back to their room. Once there, they collapsed on the bed, looking into each other's eyes. Red leaned over and kissed him,

"I love you." Dib kissed Red in return, and looked into his eyes,

"I love you too." Red ran his fingers through Dib's hair,

"I'm glad." he sighed happily. Dib sighed happily closing his eyes, and moving his hand up to stroke those irresistible antenna. Red purred, pulling Dib into his arms.

**(-we're talking about Battle of the Planets-**

**Techno: that alien was ugly**

**Keri: Note to self: keep techno away from anything w/ antenna**

**Techno: bwuahahahah I LOVE EM SO MUCH!**

**Keri: no way D: the marzoids are cool!**

**Keri: Skoodge is both ugly AND short**

**Techno: opens both antenna donations! please!**

**Techno: or massage...both please me! )**

Dib grinned happily wrapping his arms around Red, so they were as close as human possible without being morphed into one being. Red smiled, sucking on Dib's hair and stroking his back; slowly he was falling asleep, still tired from teh fun they'd had earlier. Then Dib thought of something,

"Red?"

"Hm?"

"...What do you think about...babies?"

"Babies?"

"Um...you know smeets?"

"Oh, smeets! I love um to bits! They're so cute, don't you just wanna hug um!" Dib grinned,

"Well ever thought about having any of your own?" Red smirked,

"You wanna have a smeet, is that what you're asking?" Dib blushed,

"Yes." Red kissed the top of Dib's head,

"Well, I dunno. Irkens don't normally 'have' the smeet, they just carry it around for a few weeks then they have it removed and it gets put in the smeetery." Dib thought for a little,

"Ok it'll probably be better than the human way."

"What's the human way?"

"The women get pregnant, but they say it's really bad. The have the baby for 9 months which is normal or sometimes earlier depending, and then there's mood swings, unexplainable hunger, and the last and worst part is actually giving birth. Which they say hurts like a son of a bitch." Red kissed Dib,

"Weeeeell, would you rather do it that way?"

"No not really." Dib shuddered.

"Aww, c'mon!"

"You want me to do it the human way! Are you nuts?"

"Heh, I'm just messin' with yuh, baby! Besides, you'd need to have it surgically removed either way."

"Yep thank God I'm not a woman!" Dib grinned. Red took off his armor, just leaving his robes, and climbed under the covers. Dib took off his boots leaving them next to the bed, and got under the covers, cuddling close to Red. Red was more than happy to pull Dib closer, kissing him gently. Dib smiled kissing Red in return before feeling himself being slowly drifting away to sleep,

"I love you" Dib mumbled before falling asleep. Red pet at Dib's hair, each stroke becoming more and more limp.

"Love you too." he said before falling asleep himself.


End file.
